


Part-time Lover

by fadedfloral



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Teen Angst, Volleyball Dorks in Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedfloral/pseuds/fadedfloral
Summary: Volleyball fanatic Hinata breaks a window after a stupid dare, he is then forced to work part time at Ukai's store to repay his debt. A certain libero decides he wants a job too and joins Hinata, making the orange hair boy's job a lot more distracting.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> also on-going on wattpad by the same user.

The orange haired boy sat by the door of the gymnasium, inside already were the third years spiking and serving balls at Nishinoya. The sound of synthetic leather hitting skin was all too familiar, Hinata winced at the thought of receiving one of Asahi's bone shattering spikes. He untied the laces to his outdoor shoes and slipped them off, swapping them for his white volleyball sneakers. The same ones he had when he was in middle school, a little bit too big for him because his mother thought he'd grow into them. Kageyama brushed past him, already changed and ready. Hinata hurriedly pushed his feet in and left his school shoes by the door, swinging his duffle bag over his shoulder. Today he bought his treasure, a new Molten 5000 ball. He took it out his bag, caressing the inanimate object. His eyes almost shined at beauty of this volleyball. Hinata had to save for weeks to afford this marvel, and his reasoning was that he wanted to practise with the ball that was actually used in games. He may be broke now but it was all in the name of volleyball.

The others were still practising their spikes so Hinata rushed over to join them, taking the spot at the end of the line behind Tanaka. Tanaka eyed his new ball widely. "Ayeee that's a good ass ball, Hinata. Where'd ya get it??" Hinata was almost proud "I saved up for it, isn't it so COOL???" He gushed just in time for Kageyama to tell him to shut up because he was ruining his concentration. "Hinata go!!" Nishinoya shouted from the other side of the net.

Hinata pursed his lips before realising it was his turn. His small hands bounced the ball against the ground before tossing it to Kageyama who set it up high in the air. Hinata took a few steps backwards before propelling himself up in the air via his back leg. The toss was too high, he clumsily hit the ball and unsurprisingly—it was received by Karasuno's guardian deity.   
Hinata tutted and looked at Kageyama who muttered a quiet "my bad." The others went to collect their balls for the next drill, Hinata sprinted to catch up to them. He wanted to practise more with Kageyama but he was late and missed out, only fair, he thought, disappointed.   
Hinata couldn't find his ball at the other side of the court, his eyebrow arch as his dug through the ball trolley. His heart dropped, had he already lost his expensive, new ball? He almost began to shout accusations when he heard a ball being bounced behind him. Nishinoya was playing with his new ball, marvelling at it. "Wow, Shouyou. This is a really nice ball!" The dark haired boy grinned widely, squeezing the ball in his hands. "Personally, I prefer the feeling of Molten against my arms over Mikasa." He tossed the ball up in the air with a toned arm, he gently received the ball and it dropped back to the ground. Nishinoya handed the ball back to its owner. "You should serve to me more, I love the feeling of a new ball." With that, the shorter male walked off and joined coach Ukai with the rest of the team. Hinata quickly followed. He considered taking up his senpai's offer, he did need some practise, actually a lot, with his receives which were mediocre.

Coach Ukai stood triumphantly as usual, a wide grind plastered on his face. Hinata wasn't sure if he was supposed to be worried or excited. "Good news guys, I've managed to organise some practise games with my old teammates again. They're really keen on beating you this time." Ukai's teeth were almost grinding in excitement. Hinata let out an excited shout "WOOH!!" He clapped his hands, he was always excited to play any games. It was fun seeing how differently everyone plays, Hinata was determined to learn how to play against every type of player. Kageyama slapped the back of his head, cutting off his victory cry. "Cmon Bakayama.." he whined and rubbed his head. Kageyama grunted "Listen to the coach first before you lose your shit." Hinata dropped to the ground, in a crossed legged defeat. "Fine!" He huffed, sulking about having to sit still for five minutes, which was a challenge enough. "Though, you'll have to stay back later than usual, the boys don't all get out of work around same the time. Is that okay?" Ukai looked across at everyone, most giving him a nod or quiet yes in reply. He wasn't sure if his mum would be too pleased with him biking home so late at night, but she's just has to deal with it. Hinata didn't plan ahead often, obviously. The energetic spiker just wanted to play. He usually walked home with Kageyama. "it'll be fine, Kags can just fight off the muggers while I run off." He reassured himself.

"Alright, warmups. GO!" Ukai commanded which was followed by reluctant groans. Everyone got up and began to start their laps around the court. Hinata excitedly ran to the front of the group. "Race you Bakayama!!!" He screamed and sprinted away from the tall, raven haired setter. "Oi!! Don't call me that!!..." Kageyama rushed after him. Sugawara sighed "don't waste your energy all at once..." he hopelessly warned. Knowing full well that they would both still have enough energy to last them days after.

Hinata huffed, his lungs quickly exhaling and inhaling. He was at the front of the pack, and it felt victorious to beat Kageyama once again. "That's 10...to me and...9 for Kageyama..." He mumbled to himself between exacerbated breathes, a lopsided grin appeared on his face and he laughed to himself. "Ten what??" a familiar, aggressive voice asked besides him. Hinata looked to his side and was slightly shocked to see Yuu Nishinoya running along side him, barely breaking a sweat. Hinata wheezed and Nishinoya overtook him. His victory seemed to escape, the boy clenched his teeth as the words "the one warrior is as strong as 1000 warriors" became smaller and smaller. The idiom didn't seem so irrelevant now. Hinata winced, "how could be faster than me!" 

As the rest of the team slowed to a stop, Hinata doubled over onto his knees, trying to catch his breath. "You should run more Shouyou, maybe then you'll beat me." The libero let out a loud laugh and slapped the orange headed boy on the shoulder. "Ow!" he rubbed his arm. It was true, aside from racing Kageyama, he didn't spend too much time training his endurance. "Hinata, you know it's not a race right?" Daichi reminded, furrowing his eyebrows at the already defeated boy, sounding like his mother. "I know! But if I win, that means I'm getting stronger!" He loudly replied to his upperclassman, the taste of defeat still stuck in his mouth. Suga began the stretches, rushing them into painful positions. Hinata stretched his arm, it was a little sore from practising to spike with non-dominant arm. He rolled his shoulders clockwise and then anti-clockwise, hearing his joints 'pop'. All he wanted was to hurry up and get into a game. The boy tried to touch his toes, barely managing for more than a few seconds. Kageyama sniggered behind him, Hinata was almost certain of what he was going to say. Hinata pushed his tangerine orange hair down and mimicked Kageyama's brooding stare "You're short, how can't you reach your toes boke, blah, blah, blah!" They both glared at each other, the short one stuck out his tongue. "I don't sound like that, boke!!" Kageyama roared back before they both grabbed at each other's limbs, trying to wrestle with Tanaka attempting to pull them apart. It was until they felt the brooding energy emitted by not only Daichi but Ennoshita too from across the court. They both ended up being thrown out the gym for ten minutes by the collar of their shirts.

-

Hinata kicked at the dirt beneath him, it billowed into a cloud of brown. Kageyama flicked a pebble at him, "Oi, don't ruin your sneakers." The tall boy warned as he sat on the concrete steps waiting for their 'time out' to end. Hinata clenched his jaw and climbed up on a ledge to look through the barred windows of the gymnasium. He grunted and pulled himself up, his weak arms shaking to keep his weight up. The team seemed to be doing another defensive drill. Daichi, Ennoshita and Nishinoya were receiving countless serves and spikes. Nishinoya especially seemed to be taking it really seriously. Hinata watched as he threw his body onto the polished court floor, knocking the ball back over the net. "I wish I could dive like that..." he thought to himself. It was so elegant, almost as if he was swan diving into a swimming pool. On the other hand, every time Hinata would try—he would end up hitting the ground hard, usually scrapping his chin on the ground. The way Nishinoya would dive looked like it didn't hurt at all, and if it did; Hinata was astonished at how tough he was. He wanted to beat Nishinoya, even though he was Libero. "I wanna be tough like that..." Hinata mumbled under his breath as Kageyama walked over to join him. "You're a shrimp." Hinata turned his head towards the boy before biting his shoulder. "Arggh!! You cunt, I was just stating a fact!" Kageyama shoved him off the wall and onto his behind. "I don't care!! You're not gonna ruin my vibes Bakayama!". "Pshh, if you want to get strong like him, you need to exercise more, and you can't even keep yourself from shitting out your guts whenever you get nervous." Hinata shook his head and stood up, running back into the courts. "Imbecile-"He didn't stick around to hear Kageyama's negativity.

-

"Shoes, check. Uniform, check. Books, check..." Hinata was whispering to himself in the changing room, making sure he had everything before he made the trek home. Today the sun was beginning to set earlier, with winter creeping towards Japan. He wanted to be home as quickly as possible, before it got too dark. If it rained, he would surely get hypothermia or something and they'll probably never find his corpse because a bunch of feral rats would eat it. The younger spiker had to snap himself out of his macabre daydream to search for his missing left knee pad. "I just took it off, what the hell..." he tiredly mumbled, digging through the random pile of shirts in the corner of the room. He got on his knees and tried to look under the bench.

"What are you looking for, Shouyou?" Hinata heard Nishinoya ask as he saw him walk out the bathroom, he looked like he had taken a shower. Wearing only a pair of basketball shorts with a faded logo. Hinata was still searching, pulling out an old sock before he turned his head to meet Nishinoya's brown eyes. Surprised, he lifted his head and banged it against the top of the bench. He was also kneeling on the ground opposite of him. "Arghh..ouch. You scared me..." he looked away, deciding it would be weird to look at him when he was shirtless. "Sorry, I just wanted to help you look. Didn't think I looked that scary." Nishinoya laughed, rubbing his now flat hair with a blue towel. Hinata noticed how toned his chest was, suddenly feeling embarrassed with his skinny nature. Maybe Kageyama was right... "-Shouyou?" Hinata looked back to meet his stare. "You're spacing out there, mate." He looked kind of concerned at Hinata's abnormal behaviour. The shorter male noticed the tiredness in his eyes "You should get some more sleep if you're gonna push yourself like that every day." Hinata nodded as a dark objected was flung at him, he failed to catch it and picked it up off the ground. It was his missing knee pad. "Where was it?" he asked, putting in his open duffle bag. "Under this ball bag." Nishinoya used a foot to push away a random draw string bag which held some red and blue balls, some deflated and lifeless. "Thanks, I got to go home now before it gets too dark." He nodded a goodbye to the libero and hurriedly gathered his belongings. His bike was standing by the door, chained to the railing. The chains clattered as he unlocked it and shoved it into his bag before rushing off, leaving the desolate, barren school grounds.

-

Hinata sat on his bed, he just had a warm bath. His muscles felt like new, like they melted away in the warm, relaxing water. Stretching his worn arms, he leaned back onto his mattress. He thought about training, about the race against Kageyama and his sweet, sweet victory before a realisation came upon him.

He had left his ball at the gym.

It was over, it was all over, this is his death. Hinata Shouyou is going to pass away.

The orange haired boy's heart dropped, already coming up with a plethora of excuses he would make for the sudden disapperence of his 80 dollar volleyball.

Mum, I was actually held up by a gang of vicious criminals who wouldn't leave me alone until I gave them money. I had none so I had to give them my volleyball! Or Some jealous first years who didn't make the team stole the ball while I was getting changed orrr... Hinata rubbed his temple, he hoped it would still be somewhere safe. It felt like he had lost a huge part of his life.

-

Nishinoya was locking up the gymnasium when he noticed a familiar red, white and green ball resting against the curtain on the stage. He jogged back into the building. "Better get this before another club steals it." The dark-haired libero noted before picking up the ball. On one of the coloured bands was a name, written in messy Kanji. "Shouyou Hinata." Nishinoya sighed, of course the kid forgot his own ball. "He's worse than me." He chuckled to himself, bouncing the ball along the ground as he went back outside to lock up. "I'll give it to him tomorrow." He tried to remember if he had Hinata's number. After searching his contacts, he decided to message Sugawara to relay a message to the tangerine.

To Suga Mummy: yo hinata left his ball, I found it on the stage. Message him and tell him ive got it bc he's probably crying rn >:)

Nishinoya walked through the empty school campus and passed through the massive gates before his phone vibrated in his pocket.

From Suga Mummy: Thanks for letting me know, get home safe and thanks for locking up UwU!

Nishinoya cringed slightly at Sugawara using UwU.


	2. Chapter two

After a restless night, stressing over his beloved round, leather, ball-shaped object named "Molten-Chan". He woke up and naturally reached over to pick up his phone. There was a message from Sugawara. Hinata sat up under his sheets.

From Suga :D !!: Hiii, Nishinoya had your ball. You should take better care of your belongings :( you should give him your number, I don't think he has it.

To Suga :D !!: oh okay!! See u at training

From Suga :D !!: Be safe! See you OwO!

Hinata tossed his phone back onto his bed, rubbing his eyes. A wave of relief had washed over him. His precious ball was safe, he felt like crying tears of joy. An annoying alarm sound screeched his ear, reminding him to get ready for school. The boy tiredly pulled himself out of his warm sheets and rushed into the bathroom, his innate energy returning to his bones.

-

The bike ride to school was refreshing. The wind in his hair; it whipped against his body and felt so invigorating. He was alive. A smile grew on his cold lips. He laughed as he rode down the hill, watching the trees and buildings whizz past him in a blur. The wind was cold against his bare skin, causing his cheeks to go a rosy pink. He didn't mind. Hinata seemed to be in an even better mood this morning. It seemed like all his meagre problems vanished, not that he had many of them. Excitedly, he hastily made his way to school, passing the world that just began to wake up. The sun crawled up the sky, basking the horizon in warm oranges and blues that melted together like watercolours. The sunlight passed through the gaps between the buildings like beams. Hinata soaked in the sparse moments of warmth he felt on his skin as he approached the city district of his small, rural country town. He smiled, noticing familiar faces leaving their houses to collect their mail or unlocking their stores for the day. The world woke up groggily and a certain orange haired boy was hurrying it out of bed. He peddled faster, his hair flying everywhere as he sped down the main street with his bag knocking against his back. All passers-by could see was the blur of a small boy grinning in black tracksuit jacket speeding by on a bike. "Karasuno Volleyball Club" A phrase they hadn't seen worn proudly in such a long time.

-

There she was, so beautiful that she seemed to have possessed a heavenly glow. Almost blinding was her sheer, incessant, undying elegance. Molten-Chan. Hinata felt like he was on the brink of tears as he took the ball from Nishinoya's firm hands. Relief flushed through his body, he no longer worried about bankruptcy or the impending doom that would have awaited him, his mother.

Nishinoya gave him a funny look. Eyebrows lowered with an almost confused, but amused look on his face. He watched Hinata rub down the ball with his shirt like it was his lost child. It was kind of entertaining, he admitted. It took the boy a few moments to regain his composure. He cleared his throat awkwardly, causing Hinata to realise the other boy was still standing there.

"Sorry, it was kind of expensive..." Hinata puckered his lips, look at Nishinoya. "Thanks for finding he- it for me." Nishinoya nodded in response. "I couldn't text you because I didn't have your number; so I told Suga to tell you so you wouldn't cry yourself to sleep" He teased the younger boy, a cheeky smirk growing on his lips. "What a good senpai I am, no??" Hinata nodded and gestured for his phone to exchange numbers. "Right." He sheepishly typed his name into an empty contact page. "I'm not sure why I didn't have your number, I added everyone when I first joined." Nishinoya let out another laugh. "You dork, I was suspended from club activities for a month; remember?" The realisation made Hinata feel stupid, his cheeks grew hot from embarrassment. "It's okay Shouyou, you have it now!" Nishinoya gave him a bashful grin and a cheesy double thumbs up. "You better get changed though, before Daichi gives you an ass-whooping" Hinata rolled his eyes at Nishinoya's casual use of such a crude word before rushing off to get changed. In his contacts was a new entry:

Name: YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ

Hinata scoffed at the stupid looking emoticon. It was kind of cute, he wanted one too. "Hurry up, Hinata!!" A familiar, authoritive voice shouted from inside the gym; he hurried to get changed, shoving his phone into his bag.

-

"Good job, boys—and thanks for the help with the new equipment, Yachi." Coach Ukai gave a reassuring nod to the quivering, blonde. She remained glue to Kiyoko's side, nervously reading a slip of paper. The seniors were coming to play practise games against them tonight. Hinata was almost vibrating in his seat in excitement, he remembered how tough their blockers were. He couldn't wait to blow them away with his improved attacks.

"Alright, make sure you warm up. The games will begin soon, around fifteen minutes." Ukai turned his wrist, fiddling with his watch. The spiker stood up and rushed through their regular warm up routine: Knee touches, butt touches, lunges, sprints, and his least favourite—the groin stretches. Every time he heard "open the gates" he knew he was going to make a fool of himself. How do you even do this?? Hinata berated himself for having no idea.

It wasn't long before the tiny spiker found himself on the court again, looking through the net at the much taller enemy middle blocker. The man across from him was miles taller than him, looming over like a brick wall. They looked like they had kids his age. Hinata gulped, this didn't mean they were weak—it meant they had more time to get better than him. The boy clapped his small hands together, licking his lips in determination. Both the spiker and his setter had an intimidating aura, both wanting the win as much as the other. They could not wait to surprise the opponents with their new combos.

"KARASUNO, FIGHT!" Daichi exclaimed from the back row, which was followed by a cheer from the rest of the victory hungry team.

-

Hinata watched the ball, it was the opponent's serve. The player bounced the ball several times before tossing it up; readying himself for a jump serve. The hit was powerful, it bounced off Daichi's arm before it went flying. Nishinoya slid across the court and saved it. The ball was back up in the air, shooting down towards the floor. Hinata's eyes were stuck on the ball. He had mere seconds to calculate his next movement. The team was using his new ball, he wanted to look cool with it. The boy tried to hit it back over the net but it was quickly stopped by two blockers. But it wasn't over yet; Nishinoya dove by his feet and sent the ball soaring in the air.

"I got you, bro!!" Nishinoya shouted as the ball was flying in Kageyama's direction. Now's my chance, now, now, now. Hinata chanted to himself, channelling all his energy into his powerful jump. He pushed off the ground, and flew. He was a bird in the air, a tiny crow, high in the infinite sky. All the opponents could see was an orange blur, racing down the court. The ball met his hand and he mercilessly slammed it back towards the court. Time slowed, the ball rippled as it plummeted towards the earth, he could see everything. He had the moment; the one where he knew exactly where to hit the ball and could taste the victory before it even touched his hand. A euphoric rush of adrenaline pulsed through him as the whistle blew, indicating they had received a point. Hinata howled in pour excitement and gave his partner a double high-five, which he still struggled at, and looked back at his teammates.

"Nice, Shouyou!"" Nishinoya grinned at him as he subbed off for Tsukkishima, giving the tall blonde a hard high five. "Nice save, Noya-san!" He called back. Hinata looked down at his palm, it was red, and he clenched his fist victoriously. "One more point." He smiled and whispered under his breath. He was now playing left hitter, Hinata wanted to be the one to score the point before he had to rotate off. The whistle blew and the game groaned back to life. They were at match point.

"One. More. Point."

-

The duo was packing up the nets after the game, Hinata was untying the strings that were attached to the poles. The volleyball net sagged to the floor and the two grabbed both ends, folding it up neatly before messily shoving it back into its spot in the storage room. "I've been working on our new quick combo," Kageyama mentioned as they were pulling out the brooms from the closet. "I think we should ask Sugawara to help us with it though." He continued while they began sweeping through the court. Hinata wasn't really listening, his mind was zoned out—soaking in everything that happened in the game. The euphoric feeling of the erratic spike he made earlier still lingered, a smile grew on his lips.

"Oi, why are you making that face; you look stupid." Kageyama nudged the hazed boy, snapping him back into reality. "I can't help when I make a good spike, Stupidyama." He spat, sulking like a pre-schooler. "Well, that's thanks to my sets, idiot." Kageyama reminded. As much as Hinata would like to be independent; Kageyama really did help him make insane plays. "I don't need you to set! I can hit anyone's tosses!" the tangerine exclaimed, sending them both into a primitive wrestling match. Hinata took a few steps back and picked his broom, readying himself for a chivalrous sword fight. He armed himself and gave Kageyama a mad look like a dog frothing in the mouth. "I challenge you to a duel, Bakayama!" It took Kageyama a moment to comprehend what the orange-haired idiot was doing. "I won't lose! I need one win to tie!" Kageyama roared. The two began to "sword-fight" blocking each other's hits. It was until Hinata threw his broom like a harpoon after failing to land a single blow on the taller male. Kageyama dodged and the broom went straight through the window behind him like a spear. The glass shattered and rained down onto the floor. Hinata looked at Kageyama, the colour drained from his eyes. It seemed like the whole world was filled with a deafening silence. His heart skipped a beat. Hinata looked around at the rest of his teammates, catching Daichi's emotionless stare.

"You've gone and done it this time." Kageyama whispered.


	3. Chapter three

"Hinata Shouyou."

Daichi's voice speared through him like the shards of glass that were spewed across the ground. Hinata blinked like a deer stuck in headlights. Daichi gave him a bone-chilling smile. "We told you so many times not to fight Kageyama and now look what's happened." The boy stared back up at the brooding captain. His eyes were dark and menacing. His end had come. Under his breath, he prayed for forgiveness.

"Don't freak out too much. Hinata can just pay for the damage, can't he?" Sugawara, the peacekeeper, spoke up and joining Daichi's side with a dustpan in his hand. His voice was gentle and soft, contrasting to Daichi's stern, scolding. Hinata gulped at the mere mention of money, the image of his expensive volleyball flashed in his head. "About that- "

"-The dumbass spent all his money on that volleyball." Kageyama pointed out, gesturing towards the ball by the door. Daichi rubbed his temple, unsurprised. "You're not the type to have a job either, right? I don't think your family will be unpleased with paying the debt." The captain watched the small boy sweep up the shards of glass with the dustpan and broom. A crowd at gathered around them at this point, Asahi looked relieved that nothing worse happened and Tanaka was trying to hold in his laughter. Hinata felt hot again with everyone staring at him while he was cleaning up his mess. There was so much glass; the whole window just rained down, everywhere. He walked over to the rubbish bin, dumping the now full dustpan into it. Hinata sighed and walked back to continue, paying for his sins. He saw Nishinoya squatting by the window, trying to help clean up the mess. He picked up the larger shards of glass and placed them in his dustpan. "It's okay, Noya-san. You don't need to help, it's my fault." Nishinoya turned his head up and smiled at his peer. "Yeah but, if you don't clean up faster – you're gonna be stuck here later. And besides; isn't this what good senpais do?" Nishinoya was sure adamant on being called senpai, Hinata thought.

"I've got an idea." Coach Ukai's hard voice boomed over their small talk. "I'll give Takeda the money to pay back the school and you can work off your debt at the store. How does that sound?" The tone in his voice suggested that the tiny spiker had no choice in this matter. He nodded in agreement. "And, if you're a hard worker—I can give you a proper job and you can stop being so dirt broke!" The coach laughed and patted Hinata's shoulder; but it was more like a slap that warned him not to pull this stunt again. "You can work afterschool on the days we don't have training." Hinata went back to brushing up the tiny, chunks of glass. "Mum would love some more help."

It didn't take long to finish cleaning up with Nishinoya's help. Hinata thanked him profusely and the other male just insisted, with his own words, that it was his "gentleman side". As he went to retrieve his weapon of destruction, the red handled broom, he noticed that the sky glowed a familiar orange. The sun was soon setting, turning the sky into a sea of warm colours. This reminded him to hurry up and get home before it got too dark and cold. The boy rushed to return the broom to the closet and sprinted back to change out of his training gear.

-

This time Hinata remembered to bring his volleyball home with him. Nishinoya had just finished getting changed so they were going to walk home together, since the libero lived along one of the streets on he passed the way he took to school every day. "Wait for me." Hinata stood by the bottom of the stairs of the building, holding his bike by his side. Nishinoya was rushing to put his other shoe, stumbling down the stairs like a klutz. Kageyama was waiting for the two clowns to hurry up, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground. "Let's go." Nishinoya hopped down the two final steps, grabbing Hinata's bicep as support while trying to get in his shoes right.   
"Okay,okay, you're not going to die any slower if we leave a minute later." He responded almost sounding annoyed, which was something Hinata didn't see often. His dark eyes watched the other boy swung his school bag across his shoulder and triumphantly crossed his arms, before glancing over at Kageyama. "Alright, let's go!" Nishinoya began to prod Hinata towards the exit, as if he wasn't the one taking his time. Hinata squirmed, being ticklish.

The walk from school wasn't that interesting, Kageyama didn't say much so it was the two boys discussing various volleyball topics. Nishinoya would occasionally gush over something Kiyoko had done or anything he thought would be impressive but in the end; they were all volleyball fanatics and they would always end up back on the topic of their favourite sport.

"Noya-san?" Hinata spoke up. His gaze fell back on the dark-haired boy who had his hands in his pockets, his eyes turned up to the night sky. It was a cloudy swirl of deep blues and greys, a few stars were sprinkled in the sky and shone their brightest with the moon no where to be seen. A small blinking satellite looked like an imposter in the crowd of stars. It was quiet, on the only thing breaking the silence was the sound of their steps and the low hum of crickets hidden in the distance. The same dark chocolate eyes met his. "Hmm?"

"What do you think you'll do when you finish high school?" Hinata asked, rubbing his cold hands together. Nishinoya looked back up towards the stars, as if he was searching for an answer there. He let out a quiet, laugh. "I don't know, to be honest." He fiddled with his pockets, unsure of his future. "Do you want to play senior volleyball or join a club, or something?" Hinata inquired, surprised that the libero didn't immediately reply with "go to nationals, of course!" Well, that's what Hinata would say. Nishinoya stretched his lips, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe? I've been playing volleyball for years. I kinda want to do so many things when I finish. Don't get me wrong, I love the sport, but the world is so big and there's so many experiences I've missed. I want to explore shit, you know. Go to Europe or something. Europe is so cool and huge." A long sigh escaped his lips, fogging up in the cold air. He looked back at his underclassman, waiting for his response. "I still want to go to nationals, maybe play for Japan or something!" Hinata jumped up in the air, swinging his arms up in the arm. "JAPAN!" Nishinoya laughed, watching the boy excitedly pretend to swing at invisible volleyballs in the air. He looked like an energic, little kid. Kageyama flicked Hinata's ear, receiving a whining noise from the tiny spiker. "Learn how to receive first, you clown child." The setter hadn't spoken once to them before this, Hinata almost forgot he was even with them. It took a lot of willpower for Hinata to not weakly attempt to fight Kageyama again; he remembered what happened earlier that night. "It's not so hard, Shouyou! I'll teach you!" Nishinoya grinned, sticking his thumb at Hinata. Hinata responded with a shiver, he remembered the first time Nishinoya tried to explain how to receive. Actually, it wasn't even an explaination—it was more like a sequence of sound effects. "Noya-san, all you made was sound effects-." Hinata was cut off by a cold hand on his lips. Nishinoya found it weird that his lips were still so warm in the cold weather, he blinked.

"Hush, I will teach you my kouhai and you will become the most awesome, amazing receiver! Maybe I'll even teach you the ROLLING THUNDERRR!" Nishinoya whisper-yelled, clenching his fists but trying not to wake up the entire town. Hinata laughed nervously. "I'm still bad at diving, maybe-hah..." Nishinoya smiled at him, giving him the hundredth thumbs-up he had given today. "Oh- this is my street. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow!" With that, Nishinoya sprinted off down the street, leaving them only seconds to say goodbye. "See you, Shouyou! Kageyama!" The noisy boy waved from afar before closing the door behind him.

Kageyama scoffed as they continued on their way "Finally, some quiet." Hinata nudged him in the ribs, causing the tall setter to make a strange noise. "Don't bully, Noya-san. He's cool as hell!"

"Yeah, yeah, you said this how many times? He might be cool, but he's also almost as annoying as you." Kageyama gave him an irritated glare. Though, the setter looked tired, his eyes were dark with exhaustion. The two had been staying back late after too regularly to practise their new combos. Hinata also knew that Kageyama would work out after training as well, despite all the mood swings; the tangerine was impressed by his dedication. Their love and drive for volleyball was the concrete foundation of their friendship, and with each victory; it was getting stronger. Hinata was glad him and Kageyama ended up at Karasuno, or they would have never been able to have their insane duo combos. But, he still wanted to beat his stupid looking ass.

"Oi, this is my street. See you." Kageyama took a left turn, leaving Hinata to ride the rest of the way home. The boy rolled the sleeves up, getting comfortable on his bike before trekking up the dreaded hill he had to climb every day.

-

Dinner was waiting for him when he finally reached his home. The rest of his family had began to get ready for bed. Tired, Hinata shovelled down his food despite the warnings from his mother not to "not eat so fast" or he'll choke. After a warm bath, Hinata stretched his worn body and crawled under his sheets. He pulled the blue and white striped sheets up to his chin, it felt so cosy and warm; especially after that cold trip home. His phone buzzed on its spot on the desk, Hinata reached over for it. It was a message from Nishinoya, he had a sent an image of saucepan on a stove which was full of cigarette stubs. It looked like someone was cooking a meal.

https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9249854976/h61A60BA4/cursed-image-cigarette-butt-cuisine 

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: lol isn't this what ukai eats for dinner

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: what the heck is that did u take that photo who was smoking thatmuch

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: omg no hinata I just got it off the internets its called a meme

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: wth is a meme

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: look this is a meme

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: no nowhatthehek that's just a picture of toes

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: yea

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: its kinda scary :(

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: tf no its not

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: I am not laughing noya-san ur humour is weak----send me better memes- something less toe

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: forgive me for im just a jester, pls don't execute me for this ur lordship I will return with better material

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: I am sleeping now

Hinata didn't understand why Noya and Tanaka laughed at such weird things, Hinata preferred things like photos of pets or volleyball. "He's so weird." Hinata rubbed his tired eyes, finding a comfortable spot in his bed. Part of him was curious of what jokes Nishinoya would find just for him. Hinata wondered what the boy was doing at that moment, was he lying in bed just like him or was he playing video games or watching TV? Hinata wondered why he thought about his senpai so much. "He is just such a good volleyball player and I want to be good like him", Hinata tried to convince himself before the strong arms of sleep grabbed him and piledrove him into the land of dreams.


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't explain the hedgehog cake,   
> edit: somehow i managed to not copy 90% of the chapter sorry to anyone who read it before i fixed it

Unlike how most writing cliches would have it—Hinata didn't have a prophetic dream about Nishinoya, or anyone else for that matter. He couldn't actually remember what he dreamt about, but he did wake up with sore muscles. A groan escaped his mouth as he slid out of bed and his body groggily demanded more sleep. The boy yawned and rubbed his tired eyes, he got home pretty late last night and went to bed even later. It took him awhile to fall asleep, his mind was unusually busy with thoughts.  
Hinata took his phone off its charger and saw a notification from Nishinoya. He forgot that he was expecting new memes from the crazy libero. Curious, he opened his phone and found himself excited to see what Noya came up with.

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: https://sadanduseless.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/hedgehog-fails8.jpg 

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ:?????????  
To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ:  
?????????

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: ???????

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: excuseMEwhatisYHATTT!!!

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: cake- it reminded me of you— look at it all spiked like ur hair

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: I hate this why do u do this to me TvT it's so ugly

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: fineeebut yo ur e gonna have to get used to my fine image collection

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: i won't bye 😀

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: :( leaving me already I see 

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: yeeehaw😀 I have to bike to school

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: Dont get hit by a car lol :*

Hinata returned his phone, Nishinoya was so weird but oddly, he wanted to see how crazy he actually was. Is that weird? It wasn't weird. Hinata just looked up to his senpai.

Hinata was jealous of Tanaka and Nishinoya, they both found the same things funny and always got to hang out together. Whereas Kageyama just teased him for being too soft. He didn't remember a time where Kageyama laughed at anything other than Hinata. Nishinoya was a second year and Hinata was only a first year and they spent their days mainly in opposite buildings aside from shared lunches. Hinata grabbed his head of orange hair, shaking himself. "Stop!! What's with you?!" The boy clenched his eyes shut, his thoughts were everywhere and didn't even realise that he had to start working at Ukai's store today. It was unusual for him to think about something other than volleyball constantly, but Hinata tried not to consider this too much. What's going on with me...?

-

"Have a nice day." Ukai grumbled at a gaggle of teenage girls that exhausted his daily stock of milk teas. A cigarette dangled in the tall blonde's mouth; some ash fell onto the counter before he tapped it twice on the glass ashtray. The coach took out a volleyball magazine from the shelf and skimmed through the pages, seeing glimpses of Japanese national players scattered all over. He opened to an interview with Yuji Nishida, one of Japan's best players; an outside hitter. Ukai thought of ripping out the magazine to show Hinata, his team's budding but tiny ace wannabe. He tossed the magazine back on the table, slinging his feet on the edge.

The man found himself looking at the same player he just described, he was standing sheepishly by the front door, cautious. Ukai tilted his head and caught Hinata's attention, gesturing for him to come over. "Come, Hinata." He beckoned the young boy, causing him to awkwardly walk into the store. Ukai bent under the counter, pulling out an apron and shoved it towards Hinata. It was a dirty white, with the store's logo sewn on. Sakanoshita Market. Hinata slipped it on, and unsurprisingly, it was too big and hung down below his knees. "Sorry, we don't have anything smaller." Hinata gave a nod. "It's fine." He looked down, eyeing an orange coloured stain on the pocket. The apron smelt like smoke, he wondered what made the stain.

"You're going to help with stock today, we need to label and sort all the new products that got delivered today." Ukai wasn't sure if the boy had a shred of muscle on him. "You'll be fine, it's easy."

The coach grabbed the boy by the shoulders and shoved him into the backroom. "Mum's already started with the labelling; you can shelve the stuff that's done." Hinata reluctantly followed, unsure of what to do next. "Um, okay!" He stood stiffly, absorbing everything that was going on. An older woman shoved a milk crate in his arms, it was filled with bottles of milk that sloshed around. "Put these in the fridge." She instructed, not looking up at the boy. She didn't look like Ukai at all, her voice was soft and gentle. A living opposite of Ukai. He then remembered how Ukai's grandfather acted during their training, and all the dots connected.

"Careful with the Hokkaido milk, it's not cheap!" She called out as Hinata used his foot to push open the backdoor. The crate was heavy, his arms shook. He carried it out to the back of the store where the fridges were. The milk went at the bottom of the fridge, thank god, he thought. The top looked like it was impossible to reach.

After emptying the crate, he went back and carried out a stack of cold, cardboard boxes. He could take three before it was too heavy. They seemed to be filled with ice-creams and ice blocks. The boy placed the cardboard boxes on the ground and slowly opened each one, putting the products in their respective spots in the freezer. He shivered as the icy air from the freezer travelled up and violated his bare arms. The store was stocked with so many different varieties of ice cream. From little vanilla ice cream cups to banana ice blocks that you could peel yourself. Hinata wondered if anyone actually bought these weird ice cream flavours like, mung bean. He didn't like ice cream that much, but an ice block on a hot day hit different.

In the last box was a wide selection of Gari Gari-Kun ice blocks. He sorted through the flavours; they were all mixed up. He found all the flavours: grape, watermelon, pear, soda, spaghetti? Tamagoyaki?? Hinata cringed and wondered what an egg flavoured popsicle would taste like. He emptied the rest of the popsicles into the freezer drawers.

"Hey, Shouyou!"

The sound of the doorbell chimed, indicating a customer had just entered. Hinata turned his head to see his upperclassman walk in. His jacket was undone, he was wearing his favourite Kanji shirt again. It read "To run with all of one's strength." Hinata thought it respresented his senpai's personality well.

He closed the freezer door and rubbed his hands on his jeans. "Can you pass me one of those soda popsicles?" Nishinoya grinned and jumped on Hinata, causing him to drop the empty cardboard boxes. "Wahh! Okay okay!" Hinata whined and smiled, handing a blue, soda flavoured ice block to his peer. "Isn't it a bit cold for this, Noya-san?" He asked, wondering why Nishinoya was eating an iceblock in this freezing weather, then again, the boy was a mad man.

"I love these, they're my FAVOURITE." Nishinoya took the ice candy from his hands and grinned. "Have you tried them, Shouyou? I love them." The dark-haired boy gushed, flailing arms excitedly. "No, I haven't! I've only tried the grape one and the orange one—they weren't bad but—"

"I'll buy you one! Remember when I promised I would buy you not only one, but two popsicles!" Nishinoya interrupted and pointed his index finger at the younger boy, holding an ice block with his other fingers. He kind of looked like an anime hero, one hand on his waist in a superman pose, but if superman had an ice block kink. "Yeah!" Hinata cheered back.

"Oi, what's with the noise?!" Ukai called out from behind another magazine, lazily slouched over his counter. "You're supposed to be working, you tangerine." Hinata pouted and pursed his lips, sighing dramatically. "Okay, maybe after Noya. I need to finish working. I'll be finished in a few hours." He looked back at the other boy. Noya had a weird look on his face, his eyebrows lowered. "But, that's so boring. Man, my ice block will melt by then!"

"Eat it now then." Ukai grumbled "Or come back later."

Nishinoya put a finger to his mouth and tossed the ice block back into the freezer. "I'll eat them later." He walked over and yelled at Ukai. "Let me help you too, I want to help." He demanded, crossing his arms like a sulking child. Ukai didn't seem phased at all, his eyes remained glued to the magazine. "There's boxes out back that need to be carried to the front, you can help Hinata shelve the products."

Ukai would never turn down free help, especially if it meant he didn't have to do anything. Nishinoya grabbed one of the aprons off the hook and kicked the back door open. "Hi, Mrs Ukai!" He yelled out. "Oh, hi Nishinoya-kun...here to help again?" Hinata could hear the smile in her voice. "Yup!" the door swung closed again and he was left by himself again. Hinata tossed the empty cardboard boxes in the bin out the back and walked in to see that Nishinoya was carrying four huge boxes. It looked heavy but the stronger boy didn't seem to mind. "Do you need any help, Noya?" Hinata offered but Nishinoya shook his head. "Nah, it's just a bunch of chip packets." He used a fingernail to break the tape on the box. Inside were bunches of multicoloured packets of potato crisps. Noya handed Hinata an armful of packets, causing him to drop a few on the ground. "Ahh...whoops..." Hinata clumsily navigated around the tiny store and found the snack isle. The two boys quickly filled the shelves, organising the new snacks neatly.

It wasn't long before they worked through all the stock. Hinata was throwing the remaining cardboard in the dumpster when Nishinoya went outside to let him know that they had finished all the work. "Nice." Hinata muttered as he climbed off the tall dumpster, closing the lid with a bang and locking the padlock. The boys walked back inside. By the time they were finished, the sun was almost gone and it was already dark. They took off their aprons and hung them back up. "Alright, good job boys. I'll let you have those iceblocks for free for the help." Ukai grunted and walked around, turning the snack machines off for the night. Nishinoya cheered and ran to the freezer to grab his favourite flavour. Hinata decided to try the soda flavour, the one Nishinoya loved so much.   
-

The boys grabbed their school bags and walked to the park down the road to eat their new snacks. "Noya-san? Isn't it a bit cold for popsicles?" Hinata shivered, but the ice block tasted amazing. He zipped up his tracksuit jacket and pulled it closer to his skin. "It's never too cold for popsicles." Nishinoya replied, seeming like he was shocked at the boys question. Hinata watched as he happily bit down the crunchy ice block, his own teeth hurt watching him. While the libero quickly munched on his ice lolly, Hinata slowly licked it and savoured each bite. Soon, there was nothing left but a wooden stick, Hinata sucked the flavour out and tossed it in the bin.

"Why did you help me today?" He asked, breaking the silence and looking over at the other boy while they swung on the swing set. Nishinoya gripped on the chain and swung his feet back and forth. "I was bored, and I knew Ukai would give us free snacks if I helped out. His mum loves me because I always carry the heavy boxes" Nishinoya chuckled and dramatically flexed his biceps. It made sense to Hinata, he didn't question it. Nishinoya probably ate more food than the entire team, combined.   
The libero continued to swing, trying to get higher and higher. Hinata just dangled his feet, slowly swaying. He just watched Nishinoya, noticing how his hair seemed to be flying everywhere in the wind. The breeze had flattened it. It curtained his dark brown eyes, making it look like a completely different person. His eyes were looking up at the sky, tonight it was clear and the stars seemed to glow even brighter than before. It was almost like Hinata could see the reflection of the stars in his dark eyes. The boy didn't say anything. He didn't even notice when Nishinoya stopped swinging, watching him stare mindlessly.

"What's wrong, Shouyou?" His voice broke through his train of thought. "O-oh, I don't know, I was just thinking." Hinata laughed nervously, not sure where his mind was going. He gripped onto the chain tighter, starting to swing higher and moving his legs back forth, his body felt hot. The feeling of Nishinoya's gaze was still burning through him. He stopped swinging, meeting his eyes. "I don't know?" Hinata stumbled on his words, not knowing what to say.

"My thoughts have been, so...crazy lately." Hinata mumbled under his breathe, struggling to find his words. Nishinoya kept watching him while dragging his feet back and forth through the bark chips. "What are you thinking about?" The other boy asked, still staring. Hinata sighed, the world would be an easier place if he knew what exactly was dragging him down. "I don't know, volleyball, school..." Hinata tried to fill his sentences with excuses for his new emotions to convince himself rather than the other male. He threw his head back, letting his hair hang out of his face. "Maybe, it's high school. I don't know, everything is so different."

Nishinoya reached over and rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay Shouyou! I'm not smart like Tsukkishima but I managed to survive this far, I'm sure you'll be okay. The work isn't too bad, just contemporary literature can go fuck itself" His voice was reassuring but Hinata knew that Nishinoya wasn't so confidence with school. "It's not the schoolwork." Hinata sighed, closing his eyes. "What is it then?" Nishinoya continued to interrogate him.

"I don't know, okay?" He replied quietly, his voice drained of his natural glee. Tiredly, he jumped of the swing, leaving the other boy still swinging as he walked over to pick his bike off the ground. "I need to go home now." Hinata didn't look at him and rode away down and the street and turned the corner, escaping Nishinoya's sight.

The libero kept swinging, watching the spot where he rode away from. Confused. He wondered what bothered Hinata so much, it was unlike him to act like this. He couldn't help but feel worried for his kouhai. It must be the stress of being the new first year talent in the team. The pressure must be crushing. Or was it something else? Maybe he'd ask Kageyama later, those two seemed to be close. It felt strange think about how close Hinata was with Kageyama. Nishinoya had Tanaka already, so what was causing this weird feeling? The boy tossed away the popstick, it was a thought for another restless night.


	5. Chapter five

Nishinoya was already up at six am, slipping on his running shoes and bounding out the door for his daily run. To say Nishinoya was an early bird was an understatement; he was more like an early hawk or pterodactyl. Pterodactyl are badass birds on steroids.

His morning run consisted of a jog up the highest hill in town, it helped him build his endurance and lower body strength. But the best part of the run was the view. Nishinoya jogged to the base of the hill and looked up, both hands on his hips. His stare called for a challenge.

"BRING IT ON!" The energetic boy shouted to the trees, his voice filled with strength and determination. His feet left the ground in a sprint up the steep hill. It used to hurt him, this hill, but it only encouraged him further to train. Nishinoya wanted to beat every challenger in his path. The boy desired nothing more than to get stronger and better himself. There is always something to improve at, he would always tell himself.

The ground was hard on his heels, it demanded his most and screamed at him to fail but the libero wouldn't give up so easily. The morning was cold, and the breeze blew against him as he hiked up the hill. It whipped through the trees, causing the leaves to blow away with the chilly Autumn wind. Nishinoya turned his head to see the dead foliage being swept away to the town below him. Everything looked so small.

He reached the top and stood by the edge of the railing. The town was tiny. On the outskirts were tiny scattered houses, accompanied by small farms of green and yellow crops. The gentle glow of the sun showered over the tiny city, creeping over the horizon and filling the sky with boundless, warm, swirls of warm oranges and blues. In the distance was the school, he tried to see where his house was but failed. He could just see the building they trained in. Life was so small and from up there; he felt like he was on top of the world, seeing everything happen bellow him. He reached out and grabbed at the school, the world was in his hands and he was in control; even if it was only for a little bit. It filled him with a warm feeling, an impowering sense of strength. It was the little things in life that helped him push through. It reminded him that even though he pulled the short straw in life; he could still make the most of what he had. Dwelling on his weaknesses wasn't going to help him overcome them. He sighed and soaked in the sun. The wind felt nice on his hot skin, and he lifted his arms to let the cold breeze dry off his sweat.

"Noya-san!!!" A shrill voice called out from the road, followed by the familiar sound of a bike being peddled. The older boy looked over and waved to his friend. "Shouyou!" He watched Hinata try to clumsily wave and ride his bike with one hand, wobbling. The ball of sunshine slowed to a stop, giving his friend a wide grin before tackling him in a hug. This was the normal greeting for the pair, despite the odd stares from their fellow peers. "Hey! What are you doing up here??" Hinata asked ecstatically and full of energy even though it was so early in the morning. "Going for my run of course!" Nishinoya replied, beaming. "Woah, gross. You're so sweaty." "Sweat makes me look cool!" He put his thumbs up "Makes me look like I've worked super hard!"

"Woah! I guess it does! But how can you be even cooler than you already are!!!" The two hopped around excitedly, as usual. "Thanks, Shouyou! You hype me up way too much. Did you like the new photos I sent you?" He patted the younger boys head. There was a random dead leaf sticking in his tangerine hair, he pulled it out and tossed it away. "Nope! Not at all!" Hinata laughed and Nishinoya almost forgot how different he acted the previous night, he thought back to how the spiker was staring at him the other night. It wasn't like Hinata to be quiet. It seemed like Hinata wanted to forget that too.

"Woooow! Look at that view!" Hinata gushed and walked over to the railing, leaning over the edge. He pointed at things he recognised. "Don't you see this view every day?" Nishinoya asked, watching the male gaze into the horizon. His hair was blown back, exposing his full face to the morning breeze. Nishinoya noticed how the glow of the sun fell onto his face, shining through his dark brown eyes like amber. It looked almost pretty. He stopped himself and looked back at the view. "Yes, but every time, it's just as beautiful. Have you seen it at night, Noya-san?" The tangerine smiled and Nishinoya just watched him, he admired Hinata's child-like view of the world and how, like himself, he found the little things in life beautiful. Nothing could bring Hinata down.

Nishinoya stumbled on his words, forgetting to reply. "Uh, no. It must be amazing though."

"It is!" Hinata continued, "All the lights are on, so it looks like a sea of stars. Its amazing. We should come up here one day!" He suggested, his eyes sparkling. "Let's totally go!" Nishinoya yelled back with the same enthusiasm as the other. "I'll bring my camera!!" Hinata screamed and the two got overly excited over a simple trip together. But they couldn't admire the view for long they because they had to go to class. "Okay, okay. I need to go back home and get ready for school. I'll meet you at training. See ya, Shouyou!" The dark-haired boy waved to his friend and sprinted back down the hill and all the way back home feeling re-energised. He was excited, but at the same time, something new was bubbling up inside of him. The boy had no idea what he was feeling but he didn't mind it. He got to see his friend and go for a good run, that was more than enough for him. Nishinoya wasn't the type to over-think; or think at all. He wanted to see Hinata again, though.

-

Nishinoya arrived at school not long after. He walked over to the gym and saw his close friend, Asahi standing near the door. "Asahi-san!" The libero shouted and caused the tall, long-haired man to flinch, almost dropping his phone. He ran over to his side. "Good mooooorning!" Nishinoya jabbed Asahi in the ribs as he sang.

Asahi Azumane was the opposite of Nishinoya Yuu. He was timid, quiet and tended to be quite shy at times. On the court though, he was stern and serious and struck fear into all the hearts of the opponents. Asahi was their powerhouse. His bone shattering spike could break the spirits of any blocker. He was also one of the tallest members of the team, aside from bean pole, Tsukishima. Nishinoya still looked up to him, metaphorically and literally, as being the team's ace was the second coolest thing. The first being the libero. Noya knew Asahi was still overcoming his weaknesses and he wanted nothing more but to help his upperclassman become the best player possible.

"Morning, Noya." Asahi replied quietly, looking down at his phone. Nishinoya saw a text conversation between him and Daichi. "Daichi said he's not able to come to practise this morning so, Tanaka is unlocking the gym for us. Whenever he arrives." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Tanaka was infamous for being late or not showing up at all. Noya's best friend could be here anytime between right now or in an hour. Everyone knew that and was annoyed to say the least. By sheer luck, today was the day Tanaka felt like arriving on time. Any longer, and the team would have crucified him. Nishinoya looked around and couldn't see his friend, Hinata. He wondered where he was.

-

Nishinoya ended up practising his float serve receives with Sugawara and Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi had improved his serve exponentially since his first attempt. Even Nishinoya, winner of the libero award in his middle school years, couldn't predict every single serve of his. Obviously, he liked the challenge. Knowing him, he would probably be practising receiving until he passed out, which wouldn't be the first time either. The libero watched as the thin, freckled boy spun the ball in his hands and breathed deeply before giving himself a toss, mentally reassuring himself.

The ball did not spin once as he pushed his palm through the ball, sending it over the net. Yamaguchi was facing left with a slight tilt, there was no way it would go right. Nishinoya saw the ball begin to fall to the ground as he dove to stop it. It hit his right wrist as he slid towards the net as the ball went flying over and landed on the balcony. He groaned loudly and clenched his jaw. "I'll get the next one." The boy got back onto his feet, readying himself for more attacks.

"Let's go!" he called out. This time it was Sugawara's turn. The more confident of the two closed his light chocolate eyes and drew his focus on aiming his serve. Effortlessly, he took a few steps and leaped in the air; the ball went over the net and even he couldn't predict which way it would land. Nishinoya, on the other hand, wasn't about to fail two receives in a row. All three pairs of eyes were glued to the ball. It was in the centre of the court, but he knew that wouldn't be the case for long. The ball lost its momentum and began to fall. Nishinoya chased after it with only the space between ground and his hand stopping it. The ball flew up and landed behind him. Nishinoya smiled to himself, a perfect pancake receive. "Nice, Nishinoya!!" Sugawara shouted from the other end of the court. Nishinoya let out a victorious cheer "AGAIN!" He roared. The other team members lined up and prepared for the next drill, serve practise. Nishinoya licked his lips; his favourite drill.

-

The school bell rang, training was over, and classes would start soon. The team hurried to get changed and ready for class. Nishinoya grabbed his water and chugged away, thirsty. He wiped the sweat on his brow with the bottom of his shirt. Today he was wearing a red shirt. No Kanji idiom this time though, unfortunately all his favourite shirts were being washed.

"Noya-san!" Hinata grabbed his shoulders from behind, causing him to flinch in surprise and stumbled back. The orange haired boy jumped at him excitedly. "I saw that receive you did before. Was it a pancake receive or something??? It was so cool! Teach me!" Hinata exclaimed excitedly. Nishinoya grinned proudly. "Hell yeah, it even felt cool!" Nishinoya slapped his face with his hands and the two shouted a loud "YEAH!"

The two boys went to change into their uniforms, discussing receive techniques while Hinata was mostly confused but pretended to understand because it was making Nishinoya happy.

"Liberos are so cool! Almost as cool as being an ace." Hinata stated. "My friends would ask me if I played libero when I told them I played volleyball. They were so shocked when I said I was middle blocker because they're usually the tallest players in the team." Hinata pulled his school jacket on and buttoned it up. Nishinoya noticed he was wearing the same light-yellow hoodie underneath he wore the same night they had ice blocks.

"Why does height matter so much?" He sighed and Nishinoya just nodded his head in agreement. "Everyone thinks you need height for volleyball, but you can overcome that if you're skilled enough." Nishinoya replied. Hinata continued, "Everyone thinks the libero is always the shortest guy, but I think he's just the best receiver and defender in the team. And the middle blocker is the best blocker! He can be the shortest player in the team too." Nishinoya gleamed, it was the first time someone saw his position for what it was.

"You think so, Shouyou???" He smiled widely. "Yes! The libero is so cool! He protects the team." Nishinoya blushed and clenched his fists. "No one ever thinks the libero is cool because they can't spike." Hinata grabbed the other boy's shoulders and shook him. "You are the coolest Noya-san. Teach me how to be cool." Nishinoya laughed and rubbed the boys head "Thanks, Shouyou." He looked into Hinata's bronze coloured eyes, lingering for a moment before his fingers slid away slowly. Hinata gazed back, not saying anything; he smiled ever so slightly. "Gotta go!" Nishinoya blinked as the tangerine ran of to class.


	6. Chapter six

Hinata hated English class, he couldn't understand why he had to learn it when everyone spoke Japanese. He glared at the textbook below him that was written in a foreign language. The boy rubbed his temple, he could recognise the letters but barely knew what they meant. He knew a few phrases like "Hello" and "My name is..." but that was the extent of his knowledge. During junior school, Hinata barely payed attention in class, especially in English. At first, he thought it would be cool to learn English because he would be able to read American comics or listen to foreign music and understand. Then, when he tried to pay attention in class; it was a whole new, alien concept. "It's the weird words..." He tried to reassure himself, whispering under his breath. Why are there so many different ways to pronounce things? Why is bomb pronounced bomb but womb was pronounced like room???

Hinata groaned and shook his head. "Hinata, please recite the text at the top of page 58." The voice of his teacher pierced through his consciousness. His worst nightmare, trying to speak English in front of everyone was coming true. He jolted up and stared at the words. "Recite the following aloud with a partner-"

"No below that, Hinata. Read it with Kageyama" The teacher stated, causing Hinata to fumble around, embarrassed. "S-sorry." Hinata looked over to his tall friend, who looked half awake- barely noticing what was going on. The orange haired boy stared at his friend. Kageyama flipped open his textbook. "What page are we on?" He whispered as the teacher looked on at them impatiently. They had to read a conversation between two colleagues in a workplace scenario.

"Hello, good after...noon" Hinata started, looking at his friend with little confidence in his voice.

"How are you." Kageyama replied monotonously. "It's a question, Kageyama. The question mark acts the same as the question marking particle we use in Japanese." He nodded his head.

"How are YOU?" He repeated, stretching his words a little too dramatically.

"I am good. What is the...whether...like for tomorrow?" Hinata struggled at pronouncing the word. The two sounded like robots. "Hinata, it's weather. Wheth-er is used in sentences describing a choice or two options." Hinata sighed again. "It's too hard, sir." He grumbled.

Kageyama scoffed as if, he too, didn't share the same skill level as Hinata. "Maybe think about something other than volleyball for once. Idiot." His best friend didn't miss an opportunity to insult him ever. "Shut up, Stupidyama. You think you're so good at English." Hinata grabbed his textbook and flipped to a random page and pointed at a random word. "What does this word mean!" He demanded, challenging the boy in a whisper-yell. The word was arrangement. "Arrangement." Kageyama replied. "No! What does it mean?" Kageyama lowered his brow. "Do you even know what that word means in the first place?"

"I'm asking you what it means! You don't even know, do you?" Hinata hissed. "It means..."the plan or preparation of a future event"!" Hinata announced with false victory. "Dumbass! You're looking at the definition in the book." The smaller boy tossed the book back down on the table. "I was only double checking." He crossed his arms. "You're shit at lying." Kageyama leaned back in his chair and looked away, resting his head against his hand. "Arrangement is probably a word that never gets used anyways, useless word." Hinata huffed, blowing his bangs out of his face. It seems that the duo had to compete against each other in everything; including incompetence.

-

Lunch passed slowly. The two usually spent their time practising passes with each other but Hinata had knocked the ball over of the fence. Kageyama was not surprised when Hinata tried to dig but ended up sending the ball backwards. It rolled off his wrists and went flying onto the roof where it kept going until it fell off and over the school's back fence. The two boys tried to chase after it and climbed the fence but got caught by the lunch monitor several times. He gave them empty threats about detention before walking off, waving his obnoxious finger at them.

At the back of the school was a forest of wild weeds that surrounded piles of unused building supplies, like random concrete slabs and a set of old soccer goals that was looked worn and rusted from age. The two tried to peer through the fence in hopes of seeing where the ball went; to no avail. Kageyama slapped the back of Hinata's head, causing him to lose his grip and fall onto the grass. "Good job. You're lucky that was just a random, old ball we found." His friend muttered like an old woman as Hinata rubbed his sore backside.

Now, they sat drearily on the bench next to the vending machine. Kageyama stood up and gawked at the selection of drinks. Hinata stretched out on the bench, feeling the carvings in the wood from past delinquents before his fingers touched something with a strange texture which caused him to pull his hand away in disgust. He looked over at his friend, mentally debating with himself on the drink he wanted. "Kageyama, I'm bored." Hinata huffed and rolled around. The sun was shinning on his face, he shielded his eyes with his fingers. He squinted and watched Kageyama insert change into the big, white vending machine. The setter didn't respond, still indecisive about what flavour milk he wanted.

"Hurry up, you only drink yoghurt." Kageyama grunted and picked the yoghurt; Hinata was right. He'd always debate between strawberry and chocolate milk but then always went back to the classic yoghurt drink. The milk box fell to the bottom on the machine with a clunk and Kageyama reached for it, poking the top with the straw. He pushed the tiny spiker aside and sat back down on the bench. "Shut up." He responded. The two stared off into the courtyard, radiating boredom. Kageyama had a brooding, natural gaze that scared almost everyone away from the pair.

Hinata especially, couldn't handle sitting down for more than five minutes. He jumped to his feet. "Let's go find the others!" He suggested. "Why?" Kageyama asked lazily. "To hang out with them, what else??" Kageyama had a weird look in his eyes, screaming that he didn't want to move from his spot. The boy sucked on his drink, leaning against the brick wall. "You can go, I want some peace and quiet." Hinata punched his friend in the arm, causing him to give a death glare. The punch didn't faze him. "You're the one who started eating lunch with me first!" Hinata squinted back remember how Kageyama just sat next to him one day during lunch, slurping his milk box loudly. He didn't say anything and just took his spot on the bench, and it was like that ever since. From there, they naturally found an old volleyball and would practise with each other during their break.

Kageyama just loudly slurped his yoghurt to Hinata's disgust. "Fine, I'll go find Noya-san. Better than talking to Boringyama." That's good. Hinata thought, complimenting his own nick-naming skills. He had a plethora of names he would call Kageyama every day. The tangerine walked off as Kageyama threw his empty carton of milk at his orange head. It bounced off and Hinata didn't seem to notice. He headed back inside the main building.

Hinata wasn't sure where everyone would be. The school wasn't massive like Seijoh but, it wasn't that small either. He climbed the stairs to the third floor where the third-year classrooms were situated. As he walked up the stairs, he passed crowds of fellow students talking among themselves. They blocked the halls and the small boy had to weave around them. He reached the third-years class and curiously peaked in. Several students were already gathered inside, tables pulled together as they ate lunch together. Hinata nervously scanned the room for his upperclassmen friends. He walked to the next classroom where he found Sugawara, Daichi and Asahi eating lunch together. They were facing each other and laughing, Kiyoko stood by their table, leaning on the windowsill while poking at something in her lunchbox. She looked as cool as ever.

Sugawara felt a chill go down his spine and shivered before noticing Hinata staring holes into him. The younger boy was too anxious to step foot in the classroom. The seniors were so much larger and taller than him, some even looking older than Asahi. Sugawara waved him in, smiling. Hinata gulped and rushed over to their table like an injured fawn.

"What's up, Hinata?" Sugawara picked up a steamed bean from his lunch box with his chopsticks and took a small bite from it. "Have you seen Noya-san?" Hinata fumbled at his fingers. "Oh." Sugawara chewed and covered his mouth with his hand. He swallowed and replied. "Um, Asahi? Where would Tanaka and Nishinoya usually be?" The grey-haired setter looked over at Asahi while he fixed his headband. "Um...they're probably throwing rocks at something...or looking at porn magazines." Asahi replied quietly and looked back down at his phone. Hinata was surprised how close Asahi was with Nishinoya, especially considering how opposite they were. Daichi cleared his throat, looking at the nervous boy. "Have you looked behind the gym? They eat lunch behind there a lot." Hinata nodded thoroughly and sprinted out the door, sweating from social interaction. Dachi rubbed his head and laughed. "Does he know we're his friends? He was so scared coming in here." Sugawara nodded. "It's probably Asahi, he looks so scary. Hinata stared at the back of my head for at least a solid minute." This caused Asahi to stick his head up "Eh?? I'm not scary!" he cried.

-

Hinata ran through the school, almost colliding with other peers as he recklessly turned corners and took the stairs two steps at a time. He jumped off the rest of the steps and headed towards where he came from. Kageyama was still sitting in the same spot, it seemed like he was yet to move. The boy had his eyes closed and his head was resting against the wall, he was already asleep. Hinata walked down the bricked path to his second home; the gymnasium. Gingerly, he went around the back and looked for his second-year friends. Like Asahi described, they were sitting by a green electricity box under the shade of the building. Nishinoya was holding a magazine and pointing at pictures as Tanaka gawked in awe. Thankfully, it was just a foreign celebrity magazine and nothing more. The pair were too distracted and didn't notice Hinata sit down besides them.

"Dude, look how hot she is!" Tanaka exclaimed and pointed at a photo of famous singer in a pale blue two-piece swimsuit. The article was a collection of candid shots of celebrities spotted at the beach. Tanaka pointed at a photo of David Beckham and his wife Victoria Beckham holding hands while walking through the shore. "What about her? Oh, and wassup Hinata." He added, nodding at Hinata.

"Hey, Shouyou." Nishinoya looked up at him before returning his attention to the magazine. "She's hot. Though, I'm not gay but David Beckham is even hotter. I want a body like that, is that what soccer players all look like?" Nishinoya blurted out, causing Tanaka to give him a weird look that he shook off. He didn't say anything. "You sure bro?" Nishinoya didn't look at him and gave him a blunt "Yeah." Hinata could feel the awakward tension in the air. "I think so too, Noya-san." He spoke up. The libero looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "Right, Shouyou?" He laughed. 

Nishinoya was staring at the photo a little too long and Tanaka flipped to the next page. They began to fawn over an article about Billie Eilish. Hinata looked at the article written in English, he couldn't read anything, and he assumed his friends couldn't either. The girl on the page had interesting hair, it was green and black. Hinata had never seen anyone in his town with brightly coloured hair. It looked strange to him. He didn't listen to much music either, so he didn't know anything about it.

"How did you get an American magazine? Can you read English?" He asked as they turned the page to see a gallery of sports cars. "Oh, Ukai gave it to me ages ago. It's kinda old." Hinata noticed how folded and crinkled the pages were when he had a closer look. The date at the bottom of the page said "2017". "And no, I can't read English to save my ass." He laughed loudly.

"Speaking of Ukai, he told me that he wouldn't mind me working with you again." Hinata ears perked up at this. "He said I could have all the Gari Gari-Kuns I want if I do all the lifting for him. You know how I am with Gari Gari Kun," He passed the magazine back to Tanaka who flicked back to the page with the bikini girls. "Really? Wow, that's so good." Hinata exclaimed enthusiastically. "That's if you don't mind me being there too- "Hinata cut him off "Of course you can Noya-san! It's so much easier when you're with me. You carry all the boxes because you're strong as hell!" He gushed, shaking the boy. Nishinoya almost glowed from the compliment. "Of course, I'll help you as much as you need, Shouyou!" He dramatically flexed his bicep and laughed, grabbing Hinata in a head lock. Hinata laughed as Nishinoya rubbed his head but didn't choke him like Kageyama would. Hinata grinned and looked across at Tanaka who gave him a small, but amused smile


	7. Chapter six

Nishinoya Yuu sat on the edge of his bed. Training had finished an hour before, yet he wasn't tired. The boy breathed deeply and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair.

Why did he say that? He grabbed his hair in his fingers and pulled, clenching his jaw. He didn't like boys. Nishinoya fell onto his face, screaming into the mattress. His breathing hitched. When he said that, it was like his mouth moved on its own and it felt so normal, but he knew it wasn't.

Nishinoya rubbed his face hard, pulling on his skin. It flashed back to him; the odd look in his friend's face. Tanaka looked shocked; did he sense some shame in there too? Or embarrassment? His umber eyes widened; he didn't know what to think. Was he imagining it?

On his phone, he searched up photos of female celebrities he liked. "I'm just confused." Nishinoya looked at the photos, picking out reasons why he was attracted to girls and not boys. Their bodies were better, softer and long hair was so pretty. But then he saw a photo of long-haired man and it didn't seem different to him. The male body was attractive in a different way, it was just as good. Just different. Muscles looked as good as the curves on a girl, their sharper faces were just as good as a girl's soft features and both had the same pretty eyes. Boys were good looking in another way.

Nishinoya cupped his face again and shook his head before forcefully closing the tabs. The libero screamed into his pillow again. He had to stop himself. The boy began typing in his internet browser again, "Is it normal to like boys and girls?" The results pulled up many positive reasons, many users recounted their own experiences and stories. Some articles were negative, disagreeing with the possibility of even liking two genders at once. Nishinoya didn't know where to orientate his thoughts.

It seemed like there wasn't as uncommon as he thought. Nishinoya didn't understand why though, it was normal, but he felt like an alien. It would have been easier if he just liked one or the other; he wished he just knew for sure the entire time. Then he wouldn't have to be in so much turmoil. He didn't know anyone who wasn't straight, he didn't have anyone to ask. The boy felt like a stranger in his own body, a foreigner in his own country. He wished he didn't need to think so hard.

He tried to reassure himself. He'd never liked a boy, only girls. Surely that meant he was straight. His mind jumped to Hinata's smiling face from earlier. He slapped his face again. Stop thinking like that! He just admired guys, their strength and courage. Hinata was just his good friend, he loved spending time with him and wanted to be his best friend; nothing more. Right?

Nishinoya groaned and rolled into a ball, hiding his face in his knees and whispered-screamed again. He let go and threw himself under his sheets, pulling his quilt over his body. It was too overwhelming; he sighed and closed his eyes. He surrendered himself to the void of sleep. The boy forced himself into a restless, early night.

-

It was just me, and the void. It wasn't just white or darkness, there was nothing but myself. I looked down at my hands. Despite all this, it was still me. My hands balled into fists on their own. Steam escaped my mouth. I walked forward; the ground was absent but felt solid. I was almost floating. There was nothing in the horizon, but I kept walking. In the distance, a shape began to manifest. It was the familiar, tall standing gymnasium. I walked into the doorway, seeing the net had been set up. My team was practising their spikes. Naturally, I rushed over to the opposite of the net. My body moving on its own. It was time to practise my spike receives.

Daichi went first, running up the right side of the court as Sugawara set the ball up for him.

"This isn't normal." Daichi whispered, barely audible. Yet, his voice was unnaturally different. It wasn't Daichi's voice, it was the sound of his thoughts. He ran to the back of the line after spiking the ball, I received it awkwardly. The yellow and blue ball rolled away in a blur of colour.

Asahi readied himself. The tall ace aimed his spike directly at my arms, I felt the intimate sting of the ball on his skin. The ball bounced away, disappearing in the void.

"It's too much for me." Asahi spoke monotonously, I looked at him with wide eyes. His eyes were dull and lifeless, unrecognisable. A short breath escaped my mouth.

Tsukishimi was next, I saw the same spiteful look in his eyes. I saw my own eyes, he looked down at me. He didn't say anything as he spiked the ball over then tossing it back to Ennoshita who was standing in front of the other second years.

I gazed at Ennoshita, he stood quietly, waiting for Sugawara to set the ball for him. "You can't even figure yourself out; how can you figure out how to win? How can you figure out where to go next?" His voice, my voice, pricked my heart. I blinked as sweat rolled down my forehead. The ball hit my wrist with an unnatural spin, sending it back into the void. There wasn't a single sound. Just silence and the sound of my own thoughts, the whispers were as loud as a scream.

I heard a ball being bounced; my attention went back to my teammates. It was my best friend; Tanaka. "Ryuu..." I whispered under my breath. The same expression was in his eyes that I saw earlier. Confusion, distrust, reluctant. I felt a weight in my chest. My arms trembled. He ran out and slammed the ball straight towards me. It hurt to receive. "What else are you not trusting me with?" He spat, not meeting my eyes as he walked away. My breathing was shaky, I couldn't move my body. The only thing I could do was receive. I bent my knees, readying myself for the next spike. My arms felt weak.

It was Hinata's turn. Sugawara switched out with Kageyama as the two prepared for their freak combo. My legs felt like concrete and my arms didn't want to move. Kageyama elegantly tossed the ball, it flies perfectly as it met Hinata's open palm. He slapped the ball down with all his force. I felt the wind and the heard the sound the ball made as it hit the court floor. My body didn't move. Stuck to the ground.

Hinata spoke. "I look up to you, you know. Don't let me down." The other boy's voice was harsh and cold, lacking the life it usually had. Like ice against my skin.

His words felt like spears into my body, my breathing stopped. I didn't want to let anyone down. His eyes lingered on mine for a moment, just like the day at the swings. It was the same chocolate eyes, warm and soft. But the colour faded as his face dropped and he didn't smile as he walked away from me. My teammates began to face away, becoming ribbons of smoke and colour. I tried to run and reach out for them, my hands passed straight through.

Everyone began to disappear in front of me, my heart ached. I reached my hand out for Hinata's arm, feeling his warm skin before I fell straight through his figure. Then I was alone. I hated this feeling. The feeling of being empty and losing everything.

The lights turned off in the empty gymnasium, I didn't move from the ground. Silence.

-

Nishinoya woke up, slowly opening his eyes. He stared at the same ceiling he did every single night before falling asleep. He looked over at the blinking alarm clock that sat on his bedside table. It was 11:21 pm. He was only asleep for a few hours, but it felt like days. Nishinoya could only remember fragments of his dreams, especially the look in his friends' eyes. The feeling of loneliness lingered on his skin. He rubbed his face with his hands, breathing out of his mouth deeply. The libero sat up and stared at the blank wall in front of him, in a haze of tiredness and confusion. He sighed and reached over for his phone which was plugged into its charger. The internet seemed dead as he scrolled through his social media feeds. It consisted of volleyball posts with the occasional cute girl showing up.

He looked at his friends lists and tried to see if anyone he knew was online. Tanaka was online but his status told he was in a game of some first-person shooter. He still messaged him with no response.

To TANAKABRO: yooo I cant sleeeepeppeppepepepe

Nishinoya pursed his lips and kept scrolling through his feed, seeing photos of ducks. He screenshotted it to show Hinata later. Maybe, it would be better than the hedgehog cakes. The thought made him feel better. He slapped his cheek, "I'm doing it again!" Maybe if he didn't talk to Hinata anymore the weird feelings would go away. Nishinoya searched up Asahi's username and sent him a message.

To manbun man: r u awake

From manbun man: no go away noya

To manbun man: wud??

From manbun man: zzzzzzzzz

To manbun man: I need ur help asahi san

From manbun man: no I cant do ur homework I have my own to do—

To manbun man: NO I need help with feelins or some shit whatever u call it

From manbun man: what happened why don't u ask tanaka- did u guys have a fight or smth

To manbun man: noo he's just playing CSGO and he's really bad at this kind of stuff--- I mean I had a really weird dream and now I cant stop thinking about it

From manbun man: can we at least call, I'm trying to write an essay right now

To manbun man: kkkk

Nishinoya dialled his friend who picked up moments later. He felt warm as he heard his dear friend's voice again.

-

"Okay, what's up?" Asahi Azumane asked quietly, trying not to wake up his entire household. He was typing away at his computer, writing an essay about the technical techniques used by the fashion industry. Nishinoya cleared his voice on the other end of the line, he sounded tired and hazy with sleep.

"I had a dream..."

"As did Martin Luther King Jr."

"Shut up, you guys we're in it." Asahi stopped clicking away at his keyboard. "Everyone was there, and we were at training. Everyone was doing spike practise but when they spoke, they would say something weird."

"Weird?" The exhausted third year asked, listening to him half-heartedly.

"Yeah, about...I don't know, I have a lot of thoughts in my head these days." Nishinoya grumbled deeply, sounding uncomfortable. He didn't particularly want to explain this in the middle of the night. Especially to his senior, who he looked up to.

"Um, about what?" Asahi asked, curious to what was bothering the always unbothered Nishinoya Yuu. He heard his friend breathing through the microphone, hesitating for a moment.

"I don't know. Things about myself." Nishinoya replied bluntly. Asahi rubbed his head and turned away from his bright computer screen.

"Maybe, I don't know much about myself. In the dream I imagined everyone was going to leave me and it felt shitty." He continued. Asahi blinked and held the phone tighter. "No one is going to leave you again, even I came back to the team. Remember?" he quietly reminded him, remembering the tense fight they had.

"Yeah I do, but it's different this time." The younger boy's voice quivered ever so slightly. Asahi could sense the turmoil and confliction in his tone.

"Are you overthinking? Or did something happen?"

"Kinda, when I was hanging out with Shouyou and Ryuu earlier today. I said something weird."

"What did you say?"

"That I would date a man if I was gay." Nishinoya seemed hesitant to reply.

"And? A lot of straight guys say that. It's ok to think someone is attractive. Does it bother you a lot?" Asahi tried to reassure him, interrogating him gently.

"I mean, I don't care if someone's gay or bisexual or a furry or ANYTHING but, I don't know. I don't think I like guys, but now I've just been stuck thinking about it for ages. It's killing me inside. I'm so confused. I keep thinking about Shouyou and wanting to hang out with him" Nishinoya started to ramble but his friend didn't mind, soaking in all the new information.

Asahi nodded. "It's normal to challenge your identity and try to figure yourself out. Hinata is really fun to hang out, I don't blame you. You, Tanaka and Hinata seem to have so much fun together that I'm jealous. He's a really inspiring lad, and you guys are both nuts. It's okay to like hanging out with someone, you just enjoy their presence." Asahi replied almost wisely. He wasn't lying when he said the three of them made up a chaotic trio. "Mm, I guess that makes sense. I'm going to sleep now, good luck with your work." Nishinoya ended the conversation.

Asahi said goodbye and heard the phone call end. He went back to hurriedly typing away at his work. Where the hell is my sketchbook...

-

Nishinoya felt relieved that Asahi was understanding. The boy concluded that he just wanted to be good friends with Hinata because he enjoyed his presence. Part of him didn't feel content with this though. A tiny part of him was growing that wanted a different conclusion, another ending to the story.

The libero stared back at the celling again, replaying the day in his head. He thought about Hinata's smile again and this time, the sense of shame seemed to dwindle. There was a sense of peace he had when he plugged in his headphones and played some music. He closed his eyes, letting his mess of thoughts get drowned out by the notes and lyrics. His phone vibrated on his desk as Tanaka replied, Nishinoya ignored it.


	8. Chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini playlist: (not needed; just cute songs, 10/10)
> 
> 1\. Sunkissed by khai dreams
> 
> 2\. Drifting away by khai dreams
> 
> 3\. Fantasy by khai dreams

Nishinoya sat on the cold, metal benches outside the clubroom. He gripped onto the seat, chewing his bottom lip ever so slightly. It was a chilly morning; the sun was curtained by grey, billow clouds which caused the sky to grow dull and dim. The libero rubbed his arms with his hands, holding his body tighter. The other teammates were yet to arrive, so he had to wait outside in the cold, morning air. Nishinoya stared blankly across at the empty courtyard, which was void of any life or movement. The only noise he could hear was the morning cries of birds who sang and the rustling of leaves that were yet to fall to the ground, dead.

He took a deep breath of the crispy autumn air, it filled his lungs and felt refreshing. Nishinoya hummed along to his music and shoved his cold fingers back into his pockets of his red winter coat. He closed his chocolate brown eyes and drowned himself in his music, feeling all his worries from last night washing away. The boy melted into the soft chords and gentle chorus; the musician sung of a warm love that was much like the summer sun.

“So slowly a sunlit dream pulls me out of sleep  
Feel the morning through the blinds”

Nishinoya was basking in the scarce but warmth of the sunlight that escaped through the opening in the clouds. He felt the warmth disappear and opened his eyes. There in front of him was the boy that caused his thoughts to run wild and his heart to squeeze in his chest. Hinata’s ginger hair shone as the sunlight shined on it, he looked like he was glowing. Nishinoya looked up him, seeing the same worn smile he always wore.

“I turn my head to meet your sunkissed face  
In this quiet place I can give you all my time”

Nishinoya just gazed at the other boy’s features, he looked sunkissed. The coincidence left him speechless. It felt like everything in the universe lined up to this moment. He watched for a moment, but it felt like almost an eternity. He exhaled sharply, remembering where he was.

Hinata’s eyes softened and pulled the earmuffs off his ears, waving. His ears were red, and his tangerine hair was flattened yet still as wild as the winter wind had left it. Nishinoya snapped back into reality, shaking his head and taking out his headphones. He smiled sheepishly at the younger boy, feeling a sudden wave of nerves. It seemed like whatever he felt last night just instantly disappeared the moment Hinata gave his cheerful, shining smile.

“Noya-san!” Hinata grinned and dropped down onto the bench besides him.

“What’s up, Shouyou?” Nishinoya grinned and slapped Hinata’s back as a greeting, causing him to make a weird squealing noise. He laughed.

“I’m good! You look tired, Noya. Did you get enough sleep last night?” Hinata had noticed the dark rings around his eyes, indicating a restless night. Nishinoya rubbed his eyes. “Somewhat, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep.” Then it came back to him, the sensation he felt, the feelings the dream stirred up inside of him. He felt his stomach drop for a moment, hesitant to reply. Scared that if he continued to talk to Hinata; he could never get rid of these strange feelings.

“Ah, that sucks.” Hinata frowned, kicking his feet back and forth. He was wearing his red winter boots, they had stars on them. Nishinoya looked at his own feet, covered with his simple, leather boots; worn by weather and time, covered in mud and scratches. Each scratch telling its own story from Nishinoya’s many adventures.

“What are you listening to?” Hinata asked, watching the boy put one of the ear buds back in his ears. “Hmm? Oh, I’m listening to this small musician I found not long ago. His name is khai dreams, have you heard of him, Shouyou?” His friend shook his head, his orange hair rustling. Nishinoya leaned over and put the other ear bud in Hinata’s left year. The two boys sat, watching the clouds darken as the rain began to drip down onto the earth below them.

“If it's all just a dream  
Then I don't ever want to wake up  
I think I've had enough of this life and  
I could lay here with you and  
Watch the world turn  
Never say a word”

The rain slowly fell around them, it hit the metal roof above them; accompanying the gentle music like gentle tapping. Nishinoya stared up into the sky, he could sit here for eternity. The two didn’t say anything and just listened.

The world around them was quiet and cold but the music felt calming and warm; Nishinoya wondered if this was what it felt like to be at peace. He wondered if this was what love felt like. The rain puddled around their feet, and they just watched it. Hinata seemed to enjoy the music, his head slowly swaying back and forth. Nishinoya just watched him and smiled. It was peaceful, for once. The rain even seemed to fall to the beat of the song, he wanted to stand and dance, to move his body with it. But he didn’t move from his spot. He just leaned against the wall and closed his eyes again, imagining he was the main character of his own show. Lost in his own adventures; the hero and protagonist.

-

Hinata just sat there, listening to the music. It was different from the music he heard from his games and shows, it was gentle yet still had a good beat. He didn’t mind it, but usually liked faster music with lots of drums and guitar solos, anything that hyped him up. Nishinoya seemed to really enjoy it, his upperclassman was staring off into the rain, lost in his own thoughts. He was surprised his upperclassman liked such chill music. He thought Nishinoya would have listened to death metal or something alike, but his friend was a hopeless romantic, even if it didn’t work most of the time. It wasn’t all too surprising. Hinata wondered what he was thinking about. The wind blew past them, blowing drops of water on his face, he rubbed them away. Nishinoya shook his head, letting the water spray back onto Hinata. They laughed and Hinata dried his face, watching his friend. His smile was bright and in the dull morning; he glowed.

“I've wasted too much time tryna hide my feelings  
Now I just want me and you  
To watch the sun set just soak in the view”

The lyrics resonated with him; he didn’t know why. He felt himself get nervous, getting hot under his collar. Why did he feel this way? They were just listening to music. Hinata fiddled with his fingers, his friend didn’t seem to notice his awkward behaviour. The younger boy felt a weight on his shoulder and saw Nishinoya was leaning against him; eyes closed. Hinata felt hot again, he was quite close. No one had ever leaned on him before, it was always the other way around.

The libero looked tired, but his face was soft; peaceful. Hinata watched him for a moment, letting him rest. He must be tired from last night. He thought, it was unusually seeing Nishinoya so vulnerable. The libero always seemed to have a strong, confident front and always had an intimidating and challenging gleam in his eyes. A blazing fire of determination in his eyes.

Now, he looked completely different; gentle and peaceful. Nishinoya shuffled slightly, getting comfortable on his friend’s arm. Hinata looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring. So, he just sat there, not wanting to disturb him.

The music continued, playing in his ears. It was funny, the boy didn’t mind, nor did he want to move. He felt Nishinoya’s warmth, it was comforting. Hinata scrunched his eyes closed tight. Noya is a guy, this is totally weird! He lied to himself, it didn’t feel weird to him, it felt like second nature. A new feeling continued to rise inside him, he didn’t mind it so much anymore.

“And will I ever get the chance to be your fantasy  
And will I see you down the road wherever that may be  
Well if I do I'll tell you that you were my fantasy.”

-

“Hey!”

“Hey! Wake up!”

Nishinoya was pulled from the world of sleep, he opened his eyes slightly. They met with Hinata’s warm brown eyes, he blinked. He rubbed his face with his cold fingers, rubbing the sleep away. Did he dream all that? He noticed he wasn’t wearing his other earphone; it was still in Hinata’s ear, but the music stopped long ago. Nishinoya yawned and pushed strands of hair that fell in his eyes off his face. “How long was I out?” He asked hoarsely. Hinata shuffled his feet along the gravel, creating a scraping noise. He was playing with his beloved volleyball in his hands. “Oh, maybe like ten minutes. The others should be here soon.” Hinata responded, looking at something in the distance.

“You just sat here the whole time too?” Nishinoya asked, realising that Hinata stayed to let him sleep for a little bit, not even taking out the earphone despite the music stopping. He bit his lip.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to disturb you, you looked so tired.” Hinata laughed. Nishinoya narrowed his eyes, adjusting to the sunlight that began to pour through the dark clouds as the rain come to a gentle stop. He saw the rain drops glimmer in the light, hinting at a faint rainbow. The boy just continued to lean against his arms, his body was warm, and the feeling of his winter coat felt soft on his skin. The two didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to.

-

When the school bell rang for the final time for day; Hinata knew it was time to make his way to Sakanoshita Market. The boy adjusted the strap of shoulder bag, making sure it wouldn’t fall off as he rode. He then tightened the straps of his bicycle helmet before peddling off down the path. The bike swayed as Hinata travelled down the street, narrowly swerving around motorbikes and elderly pedestrians; receiving himself a stern scolding but the boy couldn’t hear a thing.

The afternoon wind was too loud in his ears, partnered with the buzz of students leaving school and spending time in the town centre with their friends. The bustle of afternoon life was warming, unlike the soon approaching lonely night. Hinata gazed into the window of a small, petite café as he waited behind a red light. He gripped onto the rubber handles of his bike.

Little macarons and cakes laid displayed in the front window; the delicate little sweets were decorated with flowers in a range of colours. It was so beautifully made for something that would just be eaten and gone moments later. Hinata felt a tiny surge of hunger grow in his stomach.

The relief of finishing school for the day filled Hinata with his usual determination as he sped down the hill, taking his feet off the peddles as he just glided; the wind feeling refreshing against his sweaty face.

Seeing as the town was small, it wasn’t long before Hinata had reached his destination; ending his short joy ride. He locked his bike in front of the store and entered the supermarket.

The store was alive as usual, students crowing inside and gawking at the magazine collection on the rack. Coach Ukai looked murderous as usual, a cigarette still hanging from his mouth. Today’s magazine was about Motorbikes. Maybe Ukai was in a motorbike gang in a former life, he sure looked like he was. He had bleached blonde hair with dark roots creeping on his hairline, it was always pushed back out of his face with a headband. Hinata wondered if Asahi and Ukai wore the same elastic headband, the white one with the foot logo. He didn’t pay attention to little things.

The tired store owner had dark circles under his eyes from working early mornings to make time to coach their team. Karasuno could not thank him enough. Regardless of Hinata’s insane quick attack, he still gave him the same sharp, annoyed glare that was given to anyone in high school. Teenagers…The coach would mutter under his breath as a gaggle of highschool girls left noisly, causing the annoying doorbell to ring several times.

Hinata took an apron off the hook, it hadn’t move since the last he wore it. It had the same cheesy orange stain. He wondered where Nishinoya was, because he did say that he was going to work with him. The store was empty of any other workers except the ginger haired boy and the irritated Ukai. His lips pursed together as he dropped his school bag behind the counter and turned his attention to the shopkeeper; awaiting his duties for the afternoon.

Ukai cleared his throat, “Alright, Hinata. I need you to clean out the freezers in the back room. They’ve been emptied since the last stock delivery. Mum’s already gotten all the cleaning supplies out and left them back there.” He handed the small boy a blue bucket filled with assorted gloves and sponges. Hinata grabbed the supplies hesitantly but was determined to do a good job.

It was until he walked into the back room and the smelt the strong odour creeping from under the freezer doors. It smelt like rotten milk.

“OH, yeah. Forgot to tell yah. The freezers were emptied because of a power outage so a lot of food spoiled and had to be thrown out.”

Hinata let out an exasperated groan and marched into the room, he was armed with a pair of pink rubber gloves and apple scented disinfectant.


	9. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hadn't realised i didn't format the chapters properly whoops ill go fix that

The smell was so strong it felt like it travelled up his nose to violate his brain. Hinata found a box of surgical masks on the shelf and put on one; it barely helped dissipate the disgusting smell, but it was better than nothing. He pulled his rubber gloves on tight, making that slapping noise you always hear in movies. The first freezer was small. He walked over and began to scrub it clean, the warm, soapy water splashed onto his bare knees as he worked. Gross, he thought. It took him a while to remove the mysterious stains before he realised that there were many, many more to clean. He sighed in defeat, one down; countless more to go. 

Hinata had finished wiping the second fridge down with a yellow cloth when a certain dark-haired boy walked into the freezer room. His blonde streak stood him apart from any other guy in town. Hinata didn’t notice he arrived until the libero tripped over the bucket of water, flooding the tilted floor beneath them. Hinata gagged as the lukewarm water puddled around his knees. He tried to apologise profusely and went to refill the bucket. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit late.” He laughed and helped the boy scrape the bottom of the freezer. Nishinoya smiled and dunked his sponge in the warm water, squeezing out the dirt. Hinata sprayed the newly cleaned fridge with the hose nozzle; the suds puddled around their feet and disappeared into the drain. Hinata noticed Nishinoya was wearing a headband this time, to keep his hair from falling into his face. He licked his lips as the orange boy watched him scrub furiously at a dark spot. The smell of artificial apple burnt his nostrils, even with the mask.

“So,” Nishinoya broke the silence as the two worked away. Hinata hoped he wouldn’t talk about what happened that morning; truthy, he wouldn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to embarrass himself anymore then he’s already done this year. 

“Tanaka says Nekoma is coming down here for more practise matches this weekend. It’s that good? I can’t wait to verse Yaku again.” The libero grinned. 

“Oh yeah, I wasn’t listening when they announced it.” Hinata was probably too busy fighting with Kageyama or daydreaming when they had meetings about important things. 

“We’re going to have another training camp with them, but this time on our campus.” Hinata nodded and dried the interior with a dry cloth. The two boys grabbed their heavy water buckets and dragged them across the room. Nishinoya took the hose and started to rinse the dirt out of the shelves; the water ran cloudy, Hinata felt his stomach lurch. It smelt really bad; he tried not to think about it. Hinata tried to fill the awkward silence. 

“Noya-san?” He spoke up over the sound of the running water. 

“Just call me Yuu.” He nodded. “It’s only fair since I use your first name.”

“N-Yuu,” Hinata hesitated, feeling oddly nervous about using his first name. He didn’t use anyone’s first names, probably aside from Natsu. “I know I asked this before, but why do you help me work?” He stopped scrubbing and glanced over at the other boy who continued to scrub, not meeting his gaze. 

“Free Gari Garin-Kun, remember?”

“For this hard work? It’s barely worth it. Why do you- “ Nishinoya interrupted him, turning off the water hose. “Because I want to.”

“Why?”

“You live far from here, getting the work done faster will mean you don’t get home so late. Besides, I live close to here and I can just walk home. Also, because I hate being at home because it’s so boring.” Nishinoya rambled slightly yet still sounding carefree as usual.

“Yeah, but why?” Hinata continued to press for answers, causing the libero to stop working and meet his eyes. He held his breath. 

“Because I want to.” The older boy repeated sternly. 

“But- “

“Can we just work?” Nishinoya turned his face away and went back to cleaning the wire shelving. He had a dull look on his face, seemingly bothered by Hinata’s interrogation. His voice went cold.

“…. Alright.” Hinata went back to cleaning, glancing over at Nishinoya again; he had a strange expression. He looked upset. Hinata cursed himself for saying too much.  
-

Nishinoya mentally slapped himself. He didn’t mean to act so rude. A new fear overcame him, and he ran away. Ran away from himself.   
He feared saying too much and losing his friendship with Hinata. The boy wished he could just talk to him without running away; he hated himself for being a coward. Hinata made him nervous. He didn’t want the spiker to stop talking to him, hanging out with him or, worse, hate him.   
An instinct told him that if he said too much; something would go wrong. Hinata would probably look at him the same away Tanaka did. If he saw the same fear in Hinata’s eyes, he wouldn’t know what to do. It scared him.   
-  
The pair were naturally talkative, so it wasn’t long before one of them broke and spoke up. It was Hinata again, trying to make small talk.

“Hey, Yuu?” 

“Hm?”

“Do you think you could make me a playlist of songs? I liked the stuff we listened to today.” 

“Of course, bro. I have the best taste in music.” 

“I wouldn’t say best but alright.” Hinata joked, trying to lift the mood. 

Nishinoya let out a huff. “Wow, you dare doubt my amazing music taste?” He laughed and playfully glared at the boy. 

“It’s very lovey dovey. I thought you’d listen to something more rock.”

“Oh, I listen to everything, actually. Rock, jazz, soul, blues, electronic. Whatever the mood calls for. Besides, what’s wrong with a little love song here and there?”

“Oh, nothing. I thought you’d find it not manly enough.” Hinata pursed his lips and pushed his sweaty bangs off his forehead as they stuck to his damp skin. The room was humid and stuffy with only a small window at the side opened. It failed to let much light in, relying heavily on the yellow fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling. It filled the room with an ugly, pale yellow glow. Hinata wished he could run his head under the cold water at that moment.

“Love is manly!” the other boy protested.

“Is it?”

“Yes!” Nishinoya shouted a bit too loudly causing Ukai to yell at them to shut up from the other side of the door. 

“Have been in love before?” Hinata asked, expecting him to ramble about his undying affection for Kiyoko. 

“Uh, no- I don’t know! I’ve liked lots of people before like our Goddess Kiyoko—but actual love-love. I don’t know!” Nishinoya tripped over his own words, Hinata watch him stop moving; trying to piece his thoughts together. His eyes strained as he put a finger to his chin.  
“I’ve come close though. I’ve never been in a relationship before but, I feel like you don’t need to be in one to know what it feels like. But I guess it’d be hella cool if someone loved me back as well. It doesn’t seem so bad…” The libero shrugged, starting to ramble but Hinata just listened. The bubbling sensation in his chest began to rise along with his nerves. There was something about seeing Nishinoya so honest that made him happy. He was happy his friend talked with him about his feelings, because he couldn’t do that with someone like Kageyama who was more like a concrete wall.

“I guess, I always just love those who can’t love me back.” Nishinoya said sadly, dropping his head to the ground and scrubbing again. The mood in the room changed again.  
“How do you know they don’t love you back? Do you confess to them?”

“No…I guess I just know? You feel me?” Nishinoya laughed quietly to himself. 

“How do you know if they don’t feel the same if you never ask?” Hinata’s tone was a little confronting which the other boy noticed. Nishinoya suddenly felt anxious, treading carefully with his words. He didn’t want to say too much but at the same time; he wanted to say everything. A sigh left his lips, he was never good with words. 

“It just won’t happen. It’s too hard.” Nishinoya replied pessimistically, his voice coated with sadness. Hinata’s eyes lowered. His confidence had washed away.

“Aren’t you the one always telling us to never be afraid?”   
Nishinoya didn’t say anything, he just silently wrung his sponge out with the murky water before slapping it back against the dirty shelf. He adjusted his rubber glove.   
Hinata continued. “Aren’t you the one who told me to chase after every opportunity? To man up and control my fears; to not let them control me?” His voice quivered with passion; he was almost shouting. Nishinoya looked at him with wide eyes, before looking off to the side. He inhaled sharply. Hinata clenched his gloved fist at Nishinoya almost threateningly. 

“Don’t give up, Yuu!” Hinata raised his hands in the air, the soapy water sprayed everywhere. The orange haired boy didn’t seem to mind though. Nishinoya just raised an eyebrow, a smile curling on his lips.

“You’re right, I do need to man up!” He slapped the other boy against the back and wrapped his arm around his neck, pulling him closer. Hinata squirmed, wriggling to free himself. Nishinoya liked hearing the other boy say his first name, he felt special and his confidence came surging back.

“I will tell them I love them.” Nishinoya pointed his thumb towards himself in a new confidence. 

Hinata just smiled with him, happy that his upperclassman was motivated by his words. I’m happy for him, Hinata told himself, but part of him was disappointed.   
Why was it that the thought of Nishinoya in a relationship made him uncomfortable? Hinata rubbed his head with his forearm, wiping off the sweat. Maybe he didn’t want Nishinoya to stop hanging out with him to spend time with a girl. Hinata bit his lip.  
-  
Nishinoya Yuu sat at his laptop staring at the new playlist he just made. This weekend was the training camp. He was going to bring his laptop to show Hinata his vast collection of music. He looked through his collection of playlists. The libero had one for each and every situation possible. There were playlists for exercise, running, volleyball training, and ones for when he couldn’t sleep or ones to keep him awake. He had made one for Tanaka, but it was just a selection of songs he thought were good. Nishinoya decided he would find all the songs that Hinata would not only like, but songs that reminded him of the little tangerine haired boy. His fingers typed against the LED keyboard that were slowly flashing red and orange.   
-  
Hinata was restless, he was so excited for the training camp that he couldn’t get a wink of sleep. The boy rushed out of bed and started to pack his bag again, double checking that he had everything. 

“Tooth-paste, check!” He tossed a nearly depleted tube of toothpaste into his duffel bag partnered with a worn-out blue toothbrush.

“Soap, check!” This soap smelt like oranges.

“Clothes…” He tosses in a bunch of shirts that his mum left by his bed, cleaned. Most of them had volleyball logos or characters from cartoons. His favourite shirt was probably a faded blue shirt with the famous Vabo-chan mascot on it, it was birthday gift from the previous year. He wore it so often the bright logo was now faded; evidence it was well-loved. Hinata never cared about too much about fashion, his outfits rarely strayed from plain shirts with logos and basketball shorts. He didn’t care as long as it was comfortable and that he could run in it. 

“Check!”

Hinata shoved his messily, stuffed bag under his bed. He crawled back into bed, wide awake. The jittery boy closed his eyes and tried to sleep, thinking about how good the training camp would be; to no success. Hinata groaned and rustled in his sheets before giving up and reaching for his phone. His fingers hovered over the familiar profile of Kageyama and proceeded to spam his inbox with messages; also, to no success. 

It was late, 11:10 pm to be precise, and Kageyama always slept early. What a loser¸ Hinata puffed and anticipated the insults he’d get in the morning from the spam. He went and messaged Nishinoya, full knowing the boy was probably up to his antics this late at night. 

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: help

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: ohohoh who;’s this messaging me first

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: pour quoi 

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: what I don’t speak English pls I cant sleep 

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: am I supposed to cast a spell or something to help you sleep 

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: yes

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: ok  
Seen 11:15 pm

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: boop, beep, you are now asleep

To YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: damn that’s it?

From YUU (BEST SENPAI) ヘ（。□°）ヘ: ungrateful, i am leaving 


	10. Chapter ten

Today was finally the day of the training camp. Hinata had been to many different camps including the one at Nekoma and the one he may or may not have snuck into previously.

Hinata’s mother had to drag him to the kitchen to eat his breakfast or he would have scrambled out the door without his bags and with an empty stomach.

“Why don’t you ever get this excited to babysit Natsu?” His mother asked rhetorically as she served him a bowl of Jasmine rice with a fried egg. Sat down next to it was an arrangement of steamed vegetables and some sliced apple. Hinata almost vacuumed his breakfast down, shoving crunchy fruit and soft beans in his mouth. The apple was sweet; paired with the savoury vegetables it left a weird after taste.

“Now, don’t cause anymore trouble at school. Sensei Takeda told me about the window.”

Hinata paused. “It was…an..affciden-t!” He protested with a mouth full of food before swallowing hard. His mother tutted. “At least your coach is making you do work, it’ll make you stronger.” Hinata didn’t know if that was a good thing in her books, but he wasn’t grounded yet. This was obviously a win.

He ate as fast as humanly possible before staring at his mother, indicating he had finished.

“Alright, alright. You can go now.” His mother laughed gently, giving into his enthusiasm as she cleaned up his plates. She walked off and dropped the plates into the kitchen before going back to feeding Natsu. “Natsu, you need to eat your beans!” His mother was armed with a plate of beans to his little sister’s horror.

The boy wasn’t even at the table for ten minutes before he rushed out the door, stumbling everywhere with his bag and bike in hand.

This morning was bitterly cold, the wind felt harsh and dry; void of the cool breeze that Hinata had only just adjusted to. Winter had come running around the corner and slapped him in the face with its icy breath. It didn’t quell his excitement though, Hinata felt like he could jump out of his skin in excitement. The sun had only just risen; hints of blues and oranges still lingered, consumed by the glow of morning sky.

The cold didn’t bother the boy though, he was bundled up with the jackets his mother struggled to get him to wear. Hinata remembered the terrorising look in her eyes when he tried to leave in a t-shirt.

He adjusted his earmuffs under his helmet, tightening the safety straps. It was time once again for his daily battle, the massive hill. At least it wasn’t raining this time, he thought.

-

When he reached the school grounds; almost everyone had arrived and was occupied with collecting equipment. Hinata looked around and saw Kageyama carrying out the barbeque from the shed with Tsukishima, they looked like they were already bickering, but he didn’t hear what about.

The spiker went to lock his bike up in his usual spot. He peeled off his winter coat because it already making his body feel like a sauna.

“Oi, Hinata come grab the gas canister for the barbecues!” Coach Ukai’s voice hollered out from inside the dark, dusty supply shed. Hinata dropped his bags by a bench and went to help.

The tall, rough looking blonde handed him a grey tank of gas. It was large and heavy. It had a sizable dent in the side that made Hinata nervous. He dragged out the tank before being told not to in case it exploded on him. The boy wasn’t sure if Ukai was being serious or not, he started sweating bullets. He managed to carry the canister graceless to the grassy area near the gym where Kageyama and the salt stick Tsukishima were figuring out how to attach the gas tube.

Kageyama slapped the lid of the old, dingy barbeque. The dust went up in the air, the setter wiped his hands on his shirt in disgust before coughing.

“This is probably as old as the school.” Kageyama spat.

“Shut up, just set up it.” Tsukishima replied, sounding irritated already. It was only seven o’clock in the morning.

“Here…” Hinata huffed and almost dropped the gas can on Kageyama’s feet. His hands where sweaty from being nervous and excited.

“Watch it, dumbass! You’re gonna get my toes.” Kageyama glared at his tiny friend before attaching the nozzle to the contraption.

“I can’t help it! It’s heavy!” Hinata rubbed his thin arms, squatting by the barbeque before watching the two other males fiddle with the buttons. He rested his arms on his knees, dramatically sighing.

“It’s barely half full.” Tsukishima pointed at the gauge on the top of the can, indicating the fuel levels. Hinata wanted to shout at the tall blonde but decided to save his energy. He got to his feet and wandered away from the boring spectacle.

After demanding work from his coach had failed, due to all the work being done already, Hinata strolled around the quiet, isolated school grounds. Being at school when no one else was is a peculiar feeling. When a place that is supposed to full of life is suddenly void of it, it’s almost surreal. An unexpected loneliness. Hinata shivered, an eerie feeling crawled down his spine. He went to annoy the next unsuspecting victim.

Tanaka was sitting by the steps, amusing himself with phone. The older boy was too distracted by his tiny device to see Hinata looming over him, casting a shadow.

“Hi.” Tanaka Ryuunosuke sat fiddling his thumbs on the tiny keyboard of his black smartphone. He didn’t look up, but Hinata could see he was smiling at his phone. The text was too small to read but it looked like he was frantically messaging someone. The other person seemed to respond a lot slower. Their text bubbles were drastically smaller, seemingly only replying with single words while Tanaka was sending huge chunks of texts. Did he see a poem Tanaka had written?

“Who are you talking to?” Hinata asked, wondering who was required his undying attention.

“Shimizu-san!” He gushed, making a strange high-pitched, grunting noise. Hinata didn’t know that blushing made a sound like a dying goat would make. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell Tanaka that he was annoying their poor club manager, but it was peculiar that she hadn’t already blocked his number the first time they met.

-

Later that morning, just before lunch, Nekoma arrived at their school. They stumbled out, looking tired from the long drive; drearily but ready for a weekend of volleyball training. Hinata rushed out to meet his friend, Kozume Kenma. The long-haired boy had his hair dyed blonde, but you could notice that his roots were growing out rapidly, returning his locks to their dark colour. Hinata jumped at his friend excitedly, only for Kenma to sidestep to dodge his pounce. He tried to smile, though it was more like a slight adjustment to his poker face.

“Kenma-san!!” he shouted excitedly, waving his arms in the air like a fool. In the background, he heard Kageyama yelling “Boke!”

“Hey, Shouyou.” His voice was flat as usual, he looked up from the gaming console in his hands. The screen flashed with bright colours. A taller guy stepped out of the bus and joined them; his black hair was spiked in all directions with a long fringe that draped over his eyes.

“Hey, Shorty!” Tetsurou Kuroo cooed at Hinata, his usual sarcastic greeting. They exchanged challenging glares before Nekoma’s captain went off looking for his favourite first year; Tsukishima. Hinata could already hear Tsukishima cursing at Kuroo and telling him to go away, to no avail of course.

-

It wasn’t long before the teams were back on the courts, facing each of head on. The gymnasium stunk of sweat, rubber and pure adrenaline. It was around noon when the sun emerged from the overcast sky, causing the temperature to return to its pleasant state. Both teams were seated outside in the cool breeze, resting their bodies for a few moments before returning to the polished floor. Hinata ran his fingers in his wet hair, letting the breeze blow through it. He rested against the wall, tired from penalties they had to do that round because they lost. Nishinoya walked over to where the spiker was sitting and kicked at his shoes. He took a seat down next to him. Frankly, Nishinoya didn’t know what to say without it sounding forced.

“Hey?” He grinned. Hinata looked to him, giving him the classic sunshine smile.

“Hey Yuu, where were you this morning?” Hinata asked, taking a long sip out of his yellow water bottle. The loud second-year was no where to be found when he arrived, Hinata had noticed how quiet it was.

“Oh, I was setting up the nets with Asahi. We got here pretty early so we did most of the work.” Nishinoya bragged. “You’re welcome.”

Hinata snorted. He just kept looking at the libero who seemed to have something to say. “So, um…do you want me to help you with receives today? I swear it’ll be better than last time—”

Oh, last time.

Hinata remembered how Nishinoya tried to explain his techniques but only used sound effects. It felt like he was determined to teach properly though. He nodded slowly.

“Yeah! Let’s go practise now, Shoyo!” Nishinoya jumped up and pulled Hinata to his feet up his hands, dragging the other boy back into the empty gymnasium.

“Okay, I’ll just toss to you and you receive. Show me how you receive.” The boy stationed himself a few metres away, readying to toss. Hinata stiffly clapped his hands together, exposing his forearms to receive the ball. Nishinoya gently tossed the ball. It hit Hinata’s right thumb and bounced off to the right. He groaned to himself in frustration.

“Okay, firstly. Bend your legs, it’ll give you a good platform to work with and you can get more power into the pass.” The libero squatted, giving an example. Hinata copied.

“Alright, now your thumbs are crossed and that’s why it went to the right.” Nishinoya tried to show him his fists, his thumbs where together and flat. “You’re not supposed to receive with your hands but sometimes you do. If you do, it’s better if your thumbs are flat.”

Hinata tried to imitate his form but failed, Nishinoya jogged over and grabbed the other boy’s hands. “Here.” He gently put his hands together and showed him. Hinata swallowed, the other boy’s hands were warm against his, he was surprised by the sudden closeness. He just let Nishinoya play with his hands. “Okay?” He let go to Hinata’s disappointment. “Let’s go again.”

The pair spent a while longer practising digs and receives. Hinata wasn’t perfect but the boy still had the heart to practise. If he didn’t, how would he survive at nationals one day? Hinata was determined to improve his receives and Nishinoya was happy to help.

The ball would continue to fly into random directions but Hinata was slowly learning how to pass straight with each attempt. Nishinoya gave him random pieces of advice, such a how to soften the power of the ball and over-head receives. Hinata also struggled at these, but with his blessed vertical jump; he soon improved.

Nishinoya had to admit he was envious of the boy’s natural talent. But it was admirable that Hinata was trying to make use of his potential, and how he never gave up. The talented spiker reminded Nishinoya of himself. Someone who wouldn’t let their disadvantages drag them down, he too, showed that shorter guys could fight just as hard.

Though Hinata seemed to hop a little when he tried to dig, maybe it helped him reach the ball easier, maybe he just liked jumping. Either way it was a weird sight, Nishinoya promptly told him off for it. Most of his power would be lost in the jump, the libero warned, unless he had some superhuman arm strength like Daichi, it wouldn’t help him.

“Two feet on the ground Hinata! Use your legs as a spring or it won’t reach!” Nishinoya shouted while watching the boy scrabble to receive a weirdly angled toss, which was a failed attempt to serve the ball over. Hinata made a weird grunting noise as he squatted down to receive the low ball, sending it back to Nishinoya.

“Nice, Shouyou! You’re getting it!” Nishinoya cheered and gave him another trademark thumbs up. Hinata just laid on the ground, tired from the countless receives and running back and forth to collect the balls. The orange hair spiker just reached his hand in the air. “I can sub for you when you’re in the back row if it gets too much.” Nishinoya walked over to where Hinata was lying, looking down at him with a confident smile.

“No! I want more game time! Trust me! I will get better; I don’t care how long it takes! Please help me Yuu!!” Hinata jolted up, grabbing the other boy’s legs as he begged with a glimmer of determination in his eyes. Nishinoya grinned and slapped Hinata’s raised hand. Hinata mouthed an “ow”. He reached down and pulled Hinata to his feet with a rough hand. The others were already returning to the gym for the next set of games.

“Don’t worry, I trust you.”


	11. Chapter eleven

Nishinoya grabbed his air mattress that was leaning against the wall outside the clubrooms. The team had moved the furniture in these rooms to make space to sleep. The space was small, so they had to split into multiple rooms as the mattresses took up a lot of space. It was three per room. Tanaka and Nishinoya had called dibs for the top floor room, the one that was slightly larger and the cleanest, since it was barely used. Hinata followed along with them as Daichi wouldn't let him and Kageyama bunk together.

Last time, they had started fighting with each other in the middle of the night about volleyball, waking the rest of the team up with their raging screams. Tanaka had to pull them apart and tossed them to opposite sides of the room, they were shouting insults at each other like kindergarteners. Nekoma had wondered why the team looked so tired the next day; their eyes darkened from a restless night that glanced angrily at the freak duo.

Nishinoya and Tanaka were already inside setting up their beds when Hinata reached the top floor. The libero patted the empty spot next to his bed, gesturing for Hinata to come over. Hinata dropped his duffle bag by the door and took off his tracksuit jacket. He unrolled his air mattress and it began to rise with a hissing sound. His mattress was self-inflating, it just took longer than a pump. Hinata watched Nishinoya and Tanaka fight over the plastic air pump before taking turns inflating their grey air mattresses.

In the duffle bag was his sleeping bag which he preferred to completely unzip and use as a blanket inside of crawling into the cocoon-like bag. It felt too restricted, like he was trapped and couldn't breathe. Besides, if there was an emergency, Hinata would panic and die trying to stumble out his sleeping bag. He also couldn't stretch out in them, he preferred spreading out his limbs like a messy starfish. It was more comfortable that way.

Hinata chucked his makeshift blanket on the now inflated, red camping mattress. He dusted off his hands onto his t-shirt. Nishinoya and Tanaka had finished by now and were sprawled out on their messy pile of blankets. Tanaka was back to texting, probably Shimizu-san again. He was sitting crossed legged on his bed with a cheesy smile that made his typically, thug-like face look odd. Hinata could see that he was very happy though. He was glad.

The libero sunk into his blanket, face down. "I'm so tired." He groaned, getting very comfortable in his makeshift nest. His legs were reaching over onto Hinata's bed already. "We still need to shower, Noya." Hinata pulled at Nishinoya's bare foot and tried to drag him off the mattress with unexpected ease. The other boy grabbed onto Tanaka's leg, causing him to drop his phone out of his hands. Hinata started to drag them both across the room. He huffed.

"Gross! Don't be gross, you smell. Go shower!" Hinata shouted, shaking Nishinoya's foot causing the other boy to grab at his hand. He tried to shoo Hinata away, grabbing onto his mattress.

"Fine, fine! Let's shower!" Nishinoya groaned in defeat, crawling onto his knees and digging in his bag for his sleeping clothes. He swung a baby blue towel across his neck.

"You too, Ryuu!" Nishinoya reached over and slapped Tanaka's bare knee. Tanaka didn't seem to notice. Hinata already had his stuff ready, his mother had organised his belongings while he was asleep. Everything was sorted into a little carry bag with all his toiletries.

-

A shower seemed like a blessing and a relief after a full day of training. Nishinoya was glad to be able to finally wash off the sweat off his skin that stuck on his body the entire day. There was only so much deodorant could do for a group of sweaty volleyball players that were training for an entire day. It didn't help that the gymnasium would heat up in the afternoon, with the sun shining onto the metal roof. The tiny fans they had barely made a difference to the humidity.

The water was cool on his skin, washing the dirt and sweat away. He let the stream fall onto his hot face and through his hair. There was nothing like a cold shower after a long day of training, his muscles felt instantly relieved. His hands rustled his hair, washing out all the hair gel he meticulously used to style it every morning. In the other stall, he could hear Tanaka singing some song about girls in bikinis. Nishinoya laughed to himself, Tanaka wasn't the greatest singer, but he still sung his heart out. He quickly finished cleaning and turned off the running water. The towel was hanging on the hook by the door, he grabbed it and rubbed through his wet hair and body.

-

Tanaka left the shower, still singing. As he came out the door, he bowed to an imaginary crowd.

"Thank you, thank you!" he announced in English, gaining Nishinoya's loud applause. "You have the voice of an angel." He laughed.

Since the showers where close by, the two assumed Hinata wouldn't get kidnapped in the distance between the bathrooms and the clubrooms. Or so they hoped. The pair grabbed their shower bags and raced each other back to their comfy beds.

Hinata soon finished his shower, noticing the sudden quietness. The others must have finished and gone back, he noted to himself. He quickly rushed to get changed and out the door. The bathrooms were creepy alone at night, especially when he remembered all the scary encounters he had every time he went to the toilets. Someone tall better not be waiting behind the bathroom door.

When he returned to the room, Tanaka was already fast asleep in his bed. The lights were off but there was a bright glow coming from under Nishinoya's blanket. Hinata closed the door behind him quietly, not wanting to disturb the snoring Tanaka. He returned his belongings before climbing into his bed. Hinata lifted up Nishinoya's blanket to see what he was up to. The boy was typing at his laptop. He smiled at Hinata. Hinata still wasn't used to Nishinoya without his styled hair, he looked like a completely different person. His hair was wet, his usually spiked hair was flatten and hung in front of his eyes.

"Hey, do you want to listen to your playlist now?" Nishinoya grinned again, pushing his wet bangs out of his eyes. Hinata nodded and shuffled closer to the other boy. He threw his blanket over the two of them, covering them both up.

-

"Hey,Yuu?" Hinata spoke up, one headphone in his ear, while hugging his knees to his chest. Nishinoya turned, causing the blanket to rustle.

"Yeah?" He paused the music. "What's up?"

"I've been thinking..."

Nishinoya raised an eyebrow, a curious expression on his face.

"Yuu, do you like guys?" Hinata chewed his bottom lip, not sure how the other boy would react.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know, just thinking..."

Nishinoya felt his blood go cold, was he being too obvious? Was everyone thinking this? The libero grinded his teeth ever so slightly in anxiousness.

"You know I like Kiyoko-san!" Nishinoya laughed nervously, trying to push the topic down. Hinata felt somewhat disappointed, he didn't know why. He almost felt like Nishinoya was going to say yes; yes he did like guys too but Hinata reminded himself that he shouldn't expect people to be the same as him. Nishinoya WAS the straightest guy he knew. He was always fawning over Shimizu-san with his best friend Tanaka. Hinata was sure of it. But why did he feel like otherwise? His heart ached, part of him wished Nishinoya said different. Numbly, he fiddled with his fingernails.

Nishinoya rocked in his spot, watching the Hinata stare into the distance. "What's wrong, Shouyou?"

"Why do you like her so much when she doesn't even acknowledge you half of the time?" Hinata whispered, with a confronting tone that surprised Nishinoya. He sounded irritated, which was unusual.

"...what?" The libero didn't know how to respond, he grasped as his words and struggled to understand why Hinata was acting so strange. "What do you mean?"

Hinata clicked his tongue, scrunching his face. "I don't understand. She doesn't even talk to you..."

"She talks to me when I talk to her."

"Yeah, she tells you to go away."

Nishinoya clenched his jaw, getting irritated.

"That's still talking!" He chuckled awkwardly; the tension was slowly growing. It seemed to weigh down on the atmosphere even more than the blankets that hung over them. Nishinoya felt himself sweating. Even he didn't understand why he was so obsessed with Kiyoko. His rubbed his face.

"Yeah, but what's the point of chasing someone who'll never like you!" Hinata broke in a loud whisper, his voice was sombre. Nishinoya's dark eyes widened, readying to defend himself.

"Why would say that?" Nishinoya replied bitterly. His brow lowered and he looked away, his eyes softened with hurt.

"I...it's- "Hinata choked out, noticing in the sudden pain in his friend's voice. Nishinoya spoke over him. He struggled not to lose his temper, wanting to shout at the other.

"Maybe, you should just let me dream, Shouyou. It's not like I have a chance with anyone anyways..." He spoke quietly, his words were dripping with melancholy. Sadly, he closed his eyes and just breathed slowly. In and out. A dull sadness brewed inside of him. Even though he knew it was the truth, hearing it from Hinata out of all people hurt the most. Nishinoya reached up with a hand and pulled himself out from under the blanket, taking his laptop and headphones with him.

The two didn't say anything anymore, leaving the silence unbearable. Hinata wanted to apologise but he couldn't work up the nerve to. He watched the older boy turn away from him, facing towards Tanaka as he rolled over. The blanket was pulled over him tightly.

Hinata bit his lip, wanting to reach out for the other. "Yuu- "He whispered, only to be interrupted. 

"I'm sleeping now." Nishinoya dismissed him, his voice was cold and warned him to stop.

Hinata turned to the opposite side, pulling the blanket over his head again. He wrapped his around himself tightly, almost as tight as his chest was feeling. His eyes closed; his body wanted to sleep but his mind was torturing him. Perhaps, it'll be better tomorrow; he hoped everything would be fine. It was silent as Hinata lay awake in his bed, regretted that he said what he did. He didn't mean it, he was upset and overwhelmed with his own inner conflicts.

Upset, that Nishinoya only felt that strongly for someone who didn't see him the same way. He wanted to be Kiyoko sometimes. It wasn't fair.

Hinata rolled onto his back, running his small hands down his weary face. There was only the sound of his teammates' soft, rhythmic breathing and the occasional blow of the wind. The boy sighed to himself, slapping his cheek. He stared up at the ceiling, running his fingers through his ginger hair. The anxiety was getting to him, he reached over and grabbed the other boy's arm.

Nishinoya hadn't fallen asleep yet, but he wanted Hinata to think he was. He felt a hand grab his shoulder, shaking him slightly. He sighed and just kept his eyes closed, hoping Hinata would leave him alone. He didn't, only continuing to shake him awake.

"Yuu, please..." The spiker's voice cracked, soaked in sadness. His heart stung at the sound. He didn't open his eyes but hearing him upset was killing him inside. "What?" Nishinoya whispered, giving in.

Hinata shuffled over to the edge of his own mattress, coming closer to the boy. He pulled Nishinoya's shoulder, causing him to turn to face the other boy.

"Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Hinata apologised, feeling the guilt build up inside of him with every word. Nishinoya exhaled deeply out his nose.

"I was just curious... because of what you said the other day while we were reading the magazine. I don't know why, but it was stuck in my head for days but...it's okay now...I just needed clarification." Hinata clutched his blanket around his arm, holding it tightly. He didn't expect the other male to respond.

He continued rambling. "It's just that, lately I've been thinking. And I thought you might have experienced the same thing that I did...because of what you said... and I thought maybe you'd be the same as me...because I think I like boys and I thought you would be the same...ah...I've spent so many nights just awake, with my thoughts just everywhere. I don't understand my own feelings. It's kinda crazy..."

"Every day, I think it's just a passing thought but everyday I'm just reminded that it's not temporary. It's hard, because I don't know how to describe how I feel but I stopped caring about if someone is a boy or a girl because to me, it's the same. I think I love everyone the same, but...I don't know, it's hard to figure out—you know?" He laughed lightly. Nishinoya was surprised how confidently he spoke about something so sensitive, his fingers tightened into a fist.

"It felt good to tell you this though, because I know you won't judge me. I feel like I can tell you all my secrets, Yuu." Hinata smiled to himself at this thought.

Hinata stopped himself, his voice trailing away with sadness. Nishinoya's eyes opened, he covered his mouth with his hand.

He wanted to tell Hinata everything, he wanted to say that he felt the same thing, that he understood exactly how he felt. Something stopped him though, an innate fear of losing everything he had; including his friends and especially Hinata. Part of him feared disappointment from his peers and disapproval from his family and friends.

It hurt him to hear the same words he wanted to speak, but he couldn't admit it to himself. He wished it was easier, he wished he didn't feel this shame that wrapped around his throat and choked him. Why did it have to be so hard?

"It's okay if you do or you don't understand, you're still just as cool." Hinata tried to lighten the mood, but his heart said otherwise. Hinata's warm hand left the libero's shoulder, slowly pulling away; his touch lingered for a moment.

His heart ached with a new pain, disappointed and solemn. It squeezed his chest, tightly coiling around him. Trapped by an unrequited love for his upperclassman.


	12. Chapter 12

The training camp had finished a few days prior. It was a chilly Tuesday afternoon when Hinata found himself cycling to the same tiny, grocery store. He wondered how many more days he had to work before his debt was paid off. Hinata missed passing the ball against the wall of his house and trying to teach Natsu how to bump. He sighed and continued peddled, feeling the cold hair hit his face with each sharp turn of a corner.

The doorbell chimed it’s familiar but annoying song as Hinata entered. He saw that Nishinoya was already there, sitting at the top of a ladder. He was trying to hang up some sort of poster that advertised a new brand of instant noodles.

“Hi, Shouyou!” Nishinoya gave him a cheeky grin from the top. It seemed like the coldness from the training camp had finally faded away. After the camp, Hinata noticed he rarely saw his upperclassman around school. Despite trying to look for him, he only managed to catch him a few times at trainings. Even then, he was quickly dismissed as the other second years crowded him as usual. Hinata felt like he shouldn’t disturb them, since they looked like they were having fun. Though, it was sad since he felt like he was missing out.

Nishinoya hummed from the ladder. Since the training camp he had tried to organise his thoughts and process what Hinata had told him. He wasn’t sure what to do. It would be too weird to just spill his feelings out too quickly because that would make things awkward and uncomfortable. He reckoned he would just let Hinata breathe for a few days to calm down from such a huge confession. In all honestly, Nishinoya just didn’t know how to process his own feelings; making excuses not to see Hinata just so he wouldn’t embarrass himself anymore. He pinned the final corner of the vinyl banner to the ceiling.

-

Hinata felt lonely during those days, resulting in him returning to eating his lunches with the silent Kageyama. He tried to ask Kageyama for advice, but his friend just seemed as useless as his own brain. The tangerine didn’t know why he expected Kageyama to understand; it was more likely that he would bully or tease him for having girly feelings. Kageyama also had never had a girlfriend or anything of that sort, Hinata wasn’t even sure he talked to girls period.

Everyday, he would see the other boy walk to their school along the path that followed the road he biked down every morning. He still had the same earphones in that they shared that one morning, probably still listening to the same music. Hinata would purse his lips, wanting to stop and talk to him but then he’d always hesitate and cycle away. He would look back to try to catch Nishinoya’s gaze, which was usually directed at the screen of his phone or the bricked footpath.

Hinata wondered if the other boy even noticed him passing by, surely, he did as it used to be tradition to wave good morning as the two passed each other. It made him feel usually lonely, despite always hanging around his friends. Without Nishinoya, there was a gap in their group, a hole in his heart which could only be filled by him. By this point, Hinata knew he had feelings for his upperclassman but the chances of the feelings being mutual were impossible. Hinata had already insulted Nishinoya during the training camp, he knew the other boy probably didn’t even want to talk to him ever again.

The thought hurt him more than it should, even though he apologised. He wanted to talk to Nishinoya again, but the fear of rejection crept up his spine and gripped his heart, it already hurt enough to be ignored.

There was an innate, subconscious fear of losing his friendship with the other boy. There had been so many times Hinata had confessed to his female friends, causing their friendship to fizzle out with awkwardness. There was no way he’d risk losing his close connection with Nishinoya for something as petty as his feelings. He had to focus on volleyball, these things could wait even if they hurt like nothing he had felt before.

-

Hinata went to put his helmet behind the counter, taking the usual apron from its hook. Coach Ukai was sitting over in his usual spot, a black hoodie on instead of his regular pale orange. He had the same irritated face. “Hinata, you can go clean out the pork bun oven, it’s getting all grimy and gross.” The older man pointed at the tiny cube oven where the buns where usually cooked and warmed. “It just needs to be wiped down and cleaned. Then you can help Nishinoya hang the banners around and outside the store.” Hearing his name out loud felt strange, like a prick in his heart.

Hinata nodded and opened the oven, taking over the empty metal wire racks. He sprayed the inside with the same horrible artificial apple disinfectant from the other day. It wiped clean easier than he imagined and he went to dry the inside glass with a clean cloth. After the minor cleaning job, he walked over to where Nishinoya was still seated, he was still up on the ladder; this time texting on his phone instead of working.

“Hi…” Hinata spoke up, awkwardly. He caught the attention of Nishinoya who looked up from his screen, his smile fell from his face. “Hi.” His reply was just as quiet. Hinata remembered how he had told Nishinoya that he liked boys. A weird tight feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, he hoped it wasn’t the reason why Nishinoya was ignoring him. The older boy just looked down from his spot on the ladder, waiting for him to continue talking.

“About yesterday… I’m sorry if I made things weird, I don’t know why you’re ignoring me…” Hinata licked his lips, trying to meet Nishinoya’s eyes that remained glued to his hands. Nishinoya gritted his teeth. He didn’t say anything. The emotions that he tried to repress began to swell up in his chest again.

Ignored, again Hinata thought. It stung more than before. He swallowed hard, fighting the words that flooded his mouth that threatened to spill out.

“I- don’t understand. I told you everything, are you still mad about what I said on Saturday?” His voice began to grow impatient.

“Why can’t you say anything? Anything at all?” Hinata’s voice cracked. Nishinoya just looked away and put his phone back in his pocket. He grabbed the posters from the top of the shelf and climbed down the steps, walking away from Hinata. The posters dropped into a pile below the counter and he tugged off the dusty, white apron. Ukai looked up from his magazine, curious. “Oi, where are you going?” He called out to Nishinoya who stormed out of the store without another word.

“Wait! Yuu!” Hinata rushed after him, hesitating for a moment before walking out the door as Ukai called out for them to come back. He caught up with the other boy, grabbing onto his shoulder and stopping him in his path. Hinata pulled him back, facing his fear and looked at him dead in the eyes. Hinata was taken back by what he saw, flinching slighty.

Nishinoya’s eyes were soft with a tinge of sadness and weakness, it almost seemed like he could cry. Hinata had never seen such raw emotion. Only for a moment before they grew hard and his brows lowered. Hinata stood back and let go.

“What don’t you understand? Why do you keep telling me all these things?” Nishinoya’s words were quiet, he didn’t break their locked gaze. He sighed and blinked, looking away.

“What…?” This was the only thing Hinata was able to muster up in his confusion. Nishinoya kicked the ground with his feet. “I can’t do this! I don’t know what you’re trying to do but you need to stop playing with me!” The older boy shouted and showed his teeth in turmoil, he groaned getting irritated.

Hinata didn’t know what to say, he just froze. His eyes widened at the sudden burst of anger. Nishinoya grabbed his own hair, groaning in frustration and shaking his head.

“I can’t lose everything…” His hard voice wavered in anguish, and he grabbed onto Hinata’s shoulders.

“I- I wish I was like you; I wish I could understand how I felt and that everything would be okay. But…” His head fell as his eyes dropped to the ground, welling up with tears of anger and pain mixed. He laughed quietly as tears threatened to fall.

“I don’t understand…” Hinata whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible.

“What don’t you understand?!?” Nishinoya shook his head again and shouted at the ground, his grip growing tighter on Hinata’s body. He didn’t let the other respond.

“Why do you think I said those things when we were looking at that magazine or why I made you the playlist or why I’m even working here with you???” He choked out. “It’s not for the shits and giggles or because I’m bored. It’s because I wanted to, it’s because I feel some sort of way for you.”

“And, when you told me you felt different for boys…I was almost happy and ecstatic, I imagined us being together, being happy and having fun but then all I could feel was this…feeling of…dread and fear.”

“There, I’ll say it…I’m scared, Shoyou….I’m so scared….”

Tears began to pool in his eyes.

“I’m so scared of losing everything, Shouyou…I’m so scared of losing you, Tanaka, my friends, my family. And I hate it…” His teeth grinded together, his body shaking with emotion.

“I don’t want to lose you…or anything, I want things to be the same. But I’m scared if I say or do anything, I’ll end up hurting everyone and I could never live with that. Especially, if I hurt you…” His sentence dropped off as he searched for the right words. A tear rolled down his hot cheek and hit the pavement.

“It hurts, every night I feel the same thing. I wish it was just a passing thing but every time I see you, it just comes back. You make me feel warm and happy and it’s one of the reasons I come to school every day. Just to see you!! I get excited and shit!” His voice was a hoarse whisper, shaking with pain.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore…but I just want things to be the same…I don’t care if you don’t feel the same, I just like things how they are…and…I wouldn’t do anything to not lose it”

Nishinoya’s fist clenched together and his knuckles whitened. He didn’t say anymore. Hinata just looked down as the tears fell from the other boy’s eyes, dripping onto his black school shoes. He inhaled a sharp breath.

Hinata finally grew the courage to speak even though his voice shook with nerves. “So, you’re only here because you wanted to spend more time with me…? Because you had feelings for me?”

It felt strange saying these things out loud. Hinata was supposed to feel happy that they shared mutual feelings but seeing Nishinoya destroyed by his own emotions felt wrong. He wasn’t happy either.

“I should be happy that our feelings are the same but, I can’t see you like this…” he replied honestly, even thought it hurt him to do so.

Nishinoya let go of Hinata’s shoulder, slowing his breathing. His face was red with sadness, his eyes soaked with his own tears. He quickly rubbed his eyes hard with the sleeve of his jacket/ leaving a wet spot on his clothes.

“You don’t need to do anything, it would be easier if everything stayed how it was now.” Nishinoya finally spoke again, with the same coldness from the camp. His face lingered with a disappointment. Hinata knew that wasn’t what he truly wanted.

“But-“

Nishinoya interrupted him. “I need time, I’ll talk to you later. Okay?” He tried to force his usual smile, pretending that he just didn’t pour his heart out. Hinata watched as the other boy walked away, he wanted to reach out and stopped him, but his body was frozen. It was all too much to take in. He’d never seen Nishinoya cry, let alone be so emotional before. So, Hinata just stood on the pavement, clenching his hands together. Everything just passed by and continued as the boy stood still, as if time had just frozen.

He just watched Nishinoya walk away, down the road he came from. He just stared at him until he completely disappointed from his sight. What could he do?

Hinata pushed his bangs out of his hair, exhaling. It was overwhelming and he didn’t know if he should be excited or disappointed. He decided to see what would happen over the next few days. Part of him was dismayed, wishing it didn’t have to be so difficult. At times, he wished he was a girl, so no one would judge him, and he would just be free. Everything was so difficult, he wished he too, didn’t have to feel these feelings. It hurt him to admit it, but it just made things hurt so much more. He wished he didn’t have emotions and he wished he was born in a different time.

-

Hinata walked back into the store, brushing off confused questions from Coach Ukai. He picked up the posters that Nishinoya had dumped onto the ground and finished his job of hanging them up. He told Ukai that Nishinoya just felt ill and that he was going to finish his work for him. Ukai just nodded, not believing that was the full truth. He saw the look in Nishinoya’s eyes that he caught for only a split second. They were filled with turmoil and anger, a dark look he only saw in himself when he was truly and utterly defeated.

Hinata just returned to his chores, pinning up posters in a daze. The store felt completely empty without Nishinoya, despite the constantly customers that would come in and out its doors.

He was lost in his own thoughts, trying to understand the massive load of emotions that were burned onto him. The look of total sadness in Nishinoya’s warm, brown eyes would forever scar him. He would rather die then see the same thing again. He hoped the other boy would come back to him, part of him craved the warm smile and cheer he always carried around. But he remembered what Nishinoya had blurted out. Hinata wondered if they continued, what would happened? What did he mean about losing everything? Hinata knew he wouldn’t see the other boy any different but how would the team react if they would ever find out? Would they look away in disgust? The realisation made Hinata anxious, he chewed his bottom lip. He started to understand why Nishinoya was so afraid. He too, wanted things to remain the same.


	13. Chapter thirteen

Nishinoya found himself at the park again, not far from the store. The same, bark chip filled playground with only a set of swings and a skimpy play gym. Running away from his problems seemed to only lead to him wandering back around to the where it all started.

The playground was void of its usual buzz; the loud children that flocked there often were nowhere to be seen; all sent home early by the cold of winter. The new silence was lonesome yet peaceful. Nishinoya pulled his jacket closer, zipping it back up. He sat on the swing set, feeling the cold of the chain against his hands. Tiredly, he just leaned back, letting his body hang back as he kicked up his feet and slowly pushed himself off the ground. Whatever anger that resonate dissipated as soon as he focused on swinging his feet back and forth, feeling the harsh, cold wind against his hot skin. Back and forth, back and forth.

The sky was already growing dark as he swung, loosely moving his legs rhythmically. The streets were already empty for the night, with only the hum of a vending machine and the glow of sky reaching lamp posts to keep him company.

Once again, he let the hot air escape his throat in a frustrated groan which swirled into a cloud of steam in his face. He breathed out again, creating more fog which almost looked like little clouds. With cold fingers, he fanned it away.

Nishinoya knew he couldn't keep this up.

He was acting childish and was rare enough that he, himself, would admit it. Nishinoya looked back up at the evening sky, the same one he gazed into when he sat with Hinata. This time, it was empty, the dark clouds covered any hope of seeing the flashing constellations. The same colourful swirls of dark blues and deep oranges felt different and pale without Hinata, like washed out watercolours and faded oil paints.

It wasn't just the empty sky that felt lonely. He closed his eyes, rubbing them with his fingers and sighing. Hair fell into his face as he tried to push it away. The libero took out his phone and tried to send a message, typing it several times before giving up, feeling jaded. It would be too early to say anything. He kept rubbing his face until his skin turned red, trying to make sense of everything that happened that afternoon. A faint taste of blood grew in his mouth as he realised his had cut his lip from chewing it so anxiously.

He opened his phone; it was already at half its battery life. He unlocked it, swiping past his background that featured a main character of a shounen anime he was watching at the time.

Opening the messenger app to a conversation between him and Asahi, he felt his fingers hover over the keyboard, but he changed his mind and sent a text to Tanaka.

To TANABROOO: hey r u free

From TANABROOO: WHY

To TANABROOO: im bored let me come over

From TANABROOO: WHY

From TANABROOO: IM DOING SCHOOL WORK

To TANABROOO:

⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠉⠉⠉⠹

⡇⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⠀⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣾⠿⠀⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡆⢸⣿⡟⠛⢻⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠁⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀

⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⡈⠉⣁⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣰

From TANABROOO: NO DON'T BRUH ME

From TANABROOO: ⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠉⠉⠉⠹

⡇⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⠀⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣾⠿⠀⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡆⢸⣿⡟⠛⢻⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡇⠀

⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠁⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀

⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⡈⠉⣁⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣰

To TANABROOO: u didn't do it right

From TANABROOO: SHUT

To TANABROOO: ANYWAYS WHO ARE U TRYING TO FOOL SAYING UR DOING SCHOOL WORK HUH?

From TANABROOO: OK OK COME OVER JUST BRING SNACKS

To TANABROOO: HEHEHIHIHIEHH OK IM BRINGING CHIPPPPS

Nishinoya felt a little a better after a bit of banter with his close friend. The boy tried to forget his storm of emotions for a little while, it was something to worry about later. Well, at least it felt like something he was supposed to do.

He smiled and slid off the rubber swing seat and headed down the road. Tanaka's house wasn't too far from his own, they used to always visit each other in the summer breaks and afterschool. Now, they usually just hang out during school and see each other at practise. Especially since Nishinoya started work with Hinata, he barely saw Ryuu outside of those two things.

-

Nishinoya knocked on Tanaka's front door, waiting for his friend to come retrieve him from the cold of the night. He stood there, impatiently waiting to be let in. The door opened and Nishinoya felt the heat of the house hit him on the face, Tanaka stood there and almost dragged him inside; leaving him only seconds to remove his shoes. The two went to the kitchen while Tanaka dug through the fridge. Nishinoya pulled out a two bags of potato chips from his school bag which Tanaka quickly grabbed.

"Ooooh!" the other howled in excitement like a child. "I love sweet chilli flavoured chips!" He gritted his teeth. "Oi, eat the leftovers in the fridge first!"

Tanaka's older sister, Saeko Tanaka walked down from the stairs to greet the two. She held her dark pink helmet in her other hand, letting the other one slide down the railing as she descended. "Hey, Noya!"

"Hey, big sis!" He responded with the same energy shared by the Tanaka siblings, waving his hand. "Where ya off to?" He asked with a childlike curiosity.

"Oh! Heading into town for some drinks with the girls!" Saeko laughed loudly in a sing-song voice, reminding him greatly of his own best friend. They were so alike, almost twins.

"Time to get waaaaasted!" She laughed again giving Nishinoya a cheeky finger gun and stuck her tongue out before almost leaping down the stairs.

With that, she left, and the libero heard the familiar roar of her little bike. A monstrous thing that was, at least that's what it sounded like. The noise soon faded and screamed down the street into the distance.

Nishinoya turned back to his friend who was now sprawled across the lounge, bag of chips in one hand. He followed and threw himself on the other end of the seat, getting comfortable and sinking into the soft pillows.

"Where's your mum?" Nishinoya asked, watching Tanaka changing the TV channels furiously.

"Oh, date night? I think or maybe they're sleeping..." He replied, focusing on a broadcast of a soccer game and fiddled with his bottom lip with his index finger. Nishinoya just nodded and stared at the bright screen, watching the players running around on the pitch. He wasn't sure what was going on, but it seemed to be a match against Argentina and Brazil. Men dashed across the field; a tiny white ball barely able to be seen on the screen from the sheer force they used to kick it from one end of the pitch to the other. Nishinoya always admired soccer players and the endurance they would need to run for so long.

The boy just stared through the television, losing himself in a world of thoughts. Words came rushing up his throat again like stomach bile.

"Ryuu?"

Tanaka looked over at his smaller friend. "Ya?" He raised a pointed eyebrow.

"Hinata told me he liked guys." Nishinoya just blurted out, not looking at Tanaka. His eyes seemed blank and reflected the bright colours of the LED screen.

"Wait, why are you telling me this? Isn't that supposed to be a secret or somethin'?" Tanaka clicked the mute button of the tv, looking at his friend with concern. It was unusual to see Nishinoya in such a daze.

"You don't get it; I think he likes me or something...." He mumbled, spitting out his words. It seemed like he could almost choke on them.

"Oh, but you're straight right?" Tanaka raised into the bag and shoved some potato chips in his mouth, the sound of crunching filled the awkward silence. He just looked on with wide, curious eyes.

Nishinoya sighed. "I wish I could say for sure that I was..." He clicked his tongue and tried to sink into the lounge cushion.

Trying to escape like he always did would just lead him right back to the beginning, he needed to stop being a little bitch and stop running away.

Nishinoya pressed his lips into a thin line, gathering up the nerves to speak. Tanaka just waited for him to continued, chewing as slowly as possible, almost comedically.

"I think I like guys too. I mean, I like girls too? But it's different. Kind of- wait- I don't know!" He spluttered, starting to ramble. "It's weird, but I don't see it weird to be attracted to guys, I mean I see them the same way I see girls."

"Wait, how do you know you like them like that thought?" Tanaka didn't sound rude, his voice hinted at an innocent curiosity.

"Uh, bro it's so hard to explain in words. With girls I find them cute, their faces are soft and everything and everything is so petite but with guys I can find them cute too but in a different way. Like their bodies and faces are pretty but in a different way? And sporty guys are cool and admirable. I look at a girl that's cute and I wanna date and hold her and everything, but I can also see a cute guy and want to hold his hand and shit. You get me?" at this point Nishinoya was just spilling over with words, unfiltered and getting emotional.

"Nope, I'm straight but continue." Tanaka chewed on his chips casually, alleviating the nervous tension Nishinoya had created in his own mind. He sighed a breath of relief.

"I think I feel the same for Hinata, I mean it's not even that I think—I kinda yelled it to him today...after school." His last words dropped off quietly, the feelings from the afternoon rushed back in. Tanaka stopped chewing.

"What? What happened, bro? like a confession or something?? Like they do in Shoujo anime?"

"I got really upset, yelled a bit and ran off. Now I'm here..." Nishinoya rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, mentally slapping himself for being so childish.

"Is Hinata okay?"

Nishinoya's heart sunk, he didn't even realise. In his fury of emotions, he only saw Hinata's eyes momentarily, they were full of shock and concern. But mainly hurt.

He shook his head hard at this thought, feeling the sharp pang of guilt

"Fuck, I fucked up!" the libero groaned deeply into his hands. "He probably hates me now..." His teeth grinded themselves together. His fists balled together, knuckles growing white.

"Just give him time, you both need to cool down. You guys are both some of the strongest dudes I know." Tanaka reached over and grabbed his dear friend by the shoulders hard. "You'll be fine!" He almost shook the smaller boy. "Dude, I really hope so. I'm so bad at this stuff." He confessed.

Tanaka licked the seasoning off his lips before returning his attention at the screen. Nishinoya spoke up again. "Wait, Ryuu?"

"Ya?"

"You don't care that I like guys?"

"Nah, should I?"

Nishinoya was slightly taken aback by this unexpected response. He remembered the surprise in Tanaka's eyes the day they read the magazine together.

"You said you'd date David Beckham the other day, I ain't forget! Besides, straight or not—you're still my best friend!" Tanaka grinned. Nishinoya felt like crying from a new sensation of happiness.

"You're my best friend too!" He shouted a bit too loudly, returning to his former cheerful self. Nishinoya smiled to himself, glad he his best friend didn't judge or shame him. He wasn't sure about the others, but it was one victory he would gladly take any day.

-

Hinata had finished the work Ukai had given. Seeing as the boy seemed drained after returning to the store alone, he was hesitant and let Hinata go home early. Hinata thanked him quietly and peddled back on his bike. When he came home, he was greeted by the usual cry of Natsu shouting from somewhere in the house. "Shouyou!!!" She was always cheerful and happy to see her older brother. The little girl rushed to the front door, little ponytails tied will ribbons bobbing on her head. Hinata gave his sister a tired smile, taking his helmet off and letting his hair finally escape. It looked like he went through a storm by the way it stuck out in all directions.

"Look!" Natsu shouted, full of the same energy innate energy Hinata possessed. His sister had her hands full off crinkled papers, dropping some on the ground as she attempted to bring them to his eye level. "I made some drawings at preschool today!" She giggled loudly and Hinata took the artworks from her. It was a collection of portraits that looked like friends he had over throughout the years.

He was surprised she could remember what they looked like. There was a long, skinny man with a head of black hair.

Obviously Kageyama. Next to him was a smaller boy with spikes of orange hair everywhere, Hinata felt slightly offended by how small he looked next to Kageyama. Though, he still laughed and smiled, handing the drawings back to his little sister. "They're so cool Natsu!" He followed her down the hallway towards the kitchen to greet his parents who were seated at the dining table.

Natsu turned to look at him with wide, shiny eyes. "Big bro, can we play volleyball today?" She was almost jumping on the spot. Hinata grinned at her enthusiasm. Lately, Hinata had been teaching her house to pass the ball and she was slowly, but surely learning. He wondered if she would play on a middle school team one day, or maybe even join Karasuno's women's team. The thought made him feel warm inside, it would be amazing to cheer for his little sister one day.

"No way, It's too late!" Hinata's mother smiled, giving them a shake of the head "Shouyou's probably dead tired from working too, aren't you?" This caused Natsu to pout dramatically and kick her feet in the air.

Hinata crossed his arms. "I'm never tired!" Natsu just cheered from her spot. "Can you show me the videos from your games instead???" She cried and pulled at the fabric of his pants. "Okay, okay." Hinata laughed in defeat and let his sister climb on his back, taking them back to his room. "I'll show you the game that makes me look the coolest!" he plugged in a black USB into his desktop computer. Natsu climbed on his blue bed and clapped her little hands together.

The orange haired boy just smiled to himself, feeling a little better.


	14. Chapter fourteen

The volleyball net stood high, like a wall that Hinata could barely reach over. He stared through the netting, watching his opponents like a hawk. It was a wall where his hands barely reached over with each jump. More like an enemy, an obstacle between him and his goal; the ecstatic sting of the volleyball against his palm and the sound of it hitting the court floor. Hinata licked his lips and watched Yamaguchi prepare for his infamous serve. It must be a float, there's no way it wouldn't be. This rotation left Hinata playing opposite outside hitter, the chances of the ball landing in the front was almost certain. Hinata, Tsukishima and Kinoshita all realised the same thing. It was on them to keep this ball in the air. Hinata prayed he wouldn't shank the ball again.

In the backline was Daichi, Ennoshita and Nishinoya. Nishinoya was on the left, about to rotate off after the next point. Hinata felt a new pressure from behind him, he couldn't mess up. He got nervous, almost feeling sick in the stomach. Trying to receive serves gave him an intense anxiety, despite improving gradually with practise. It was almost as bad as serving.

The whistle blew, Yamaguchi had exactly eight seconds to serve. He took a deep breath and bounced the ball once before gripping it in his hands. It went in the air with a soft toss, his hand met the smooth surface of the yellow and blue ball as It followed through. There it went, no spin, effortless and unpredictable. Yamaguchi's eyes gleamed as his teammates cheered for his familiar serve.

Hinata stared up, watching the ball's movement. Erratic, but it looked like it would be going right. It headed in his direction, he only had two options.

Left or right. Left or right.

Embarrass himself or save the ball.

Everything happened in slow motion like a dramatic movie scene. Like a freeze frame in an action shot.

Right.... Left... he whispered to himself as the ball glided in the air, his feet moved in the direction it seemed to fall and his eyes never lost sight of it. His heart stopped as the ball fell flat above the net, losing all its momentum and seemed to almost miss the net. Yamaguchi froze, would it go over?

The ball hit top of the net and started to fall to the ground. Gravity wasn't on their side as it fell on their half of the court.

In a split second Hinata dived to the centre of the court, almost sliding through to the other side of the net. His body fell to the ground hard, not used to having to dive so desperately. Then it happened, he collided into another person. Something hard collided with his hip and knees. Jolts of pain travelled through his body.

Hinata climbed to his feet feeling a strong stinging pain in his side. He groaned and rubbed the sore area. He had collide with a knee, or was it an elbow?

"You need to call for the goddamn ball!" A stern, familiar voice scolded him. Hinata looked back as he stood up, seeing Nishinoya besides him. His nose dripped a red liquid as glared down at the other boy; his hand cupping the blood that dribbled from his face. The libero's face had collided with the hitter's elbow, already turning a shade of purple.

"You can't just dive like that without saying anything- you saw what happened to Daichi..." Sugawara waved him off from the other side of the net, his smile hinted at concern. Nishinoya interrupted him as Ennoshita tried to pull him off the court. "Don't get in the way of my balls, you'll just end up wasting the point!" He gritted his teeth. The libero's voice was strained and cold, riddled with irritation. Anger boiled over.

"What?" Hinata lowered his eyes, feelings of confusion faded as he too was getting annoyed.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, you're fucking shanking the balls, and no one can do shit with them!"

This time Ennoshita grabbed him tightly as Nishinoya flailed, trying to grab Hinata. The blood sprayed on the ground as he flashed his teeth.

"All I HAVE ARE MY RECEIVES, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE WITHOUT THEM. IF YOU FUCK IT UP FOR ME, I WILL HAVE NOTHING!"

He let the larger teammate carry him away, blood still pouring from his nose and staining his classic red kanji shirt. Hinata just stared at him, still not processing the sudden outburst. In the background he could hear coach Ukai scolding him while trying to help him clean the blood off his face and the floor. Yachi frantically tried to wipe everything down. Hinata turned back to his teammates, sharing a perplexed expression with Kageyama. Asahi took Nishinoya's spot on the court.

"It's alright Hinata, he doesn't mean it." Tanaka looked over at his friend who had stormed out the court with a crimson stained cloth. It was like a massive storm cloud followed him out. His eyes crinkled as his brows lowered with concern. "I know he doesn't."

Hinata just looked away, turning his attention back to the game. A single breath left his lips as his heart stopped beating intensely. He felt his sweat grow cold.

-

It was happening again, Nishinoya had another breakdown. He didn't understand what was happening to him. There were so many emotions he felt at once and just the tiniest thing would push him over the edge. A result of holding in his feelings until they exploded. His teeth grinded in his mouth in frustration. He sat outside on the steps of the gymnasium, catching his breath. With his water bottle, he sprayed his hot face and wiped the sweat and blood away.

"Dude, what's up with you?" Tanaka's voice came out of the blue. Nishinoya just hugged his knees, tutting. Droplets of water dripped from his face.

"Nothing."

"You yelled at him again."

"So what?"

"You can't just do that."

Nishinoya sighed. "I know." He already knew this, why was Ryuu just telling him shit he already knew?

"You probably fucked it up for good this time." Tanaka heard Nishinoya sniff, it took him awhile to reply.

"I know." He repeated, wiping his face dry with his shirt. The metallic smell of his blood wasn't going away.

Tanaka walked over and sat down on the cold concrete next to his best friend.   
"You need to sort your emotions out. I know you think its not manly to have feelings but if you don't, you just keep having breakdowns like you just did."

Nishinoya kicked his feet against the ground. "My head is everywhere." He grumbled

"I know a lot happened yesterday, but you can't act like a kid throwing a tantrum. You're just gonna hurt yourself and Hinata."

The libero pursed his lips at this, knowing it was completely true. He sighed. "I'll just make it worse. I'm so bad at this sort of shit, man."

"I know, but are you just going to run away again?"

This time, he didn't say anything. It made him angry to think about running away again. His heart squeezed in his chest.

Tanaka answered the question for him. Nishinoya didn't look up from staring at the ground.

"You're not going to run away, this time you need to fix it. If you like guys, you like guys. Nothing is going to change that, and you just need to embrace yourself for who you are! I can't have my best bro acting all sad like this."

"Ryuu, that was so inspiring what the fuck--"Nishinoya turned to face his friend, Tanaka just slapped him across the back. "Of course! I'm a wise man y'know!" He laughed loudly like a hyena.

"Hey, Ryuu- you wanna get ice cream aft-" Nishinoya was cut off by the sound of the gymnasium door sliding open. The pair both looked up, surprised. Hinata stood at the top step, his face was dark and tired.

"Noy—I mean Yuu, we need to talk." Nishinoya's face dropped, he stood up and turned to him. It didn't feel right to say anything. There was a moment of silence.

Hinata rushed in his face and grabbed his shirt, pulling him close.

"What's wrong with you??" Hinata shouted in his face, eyes widening with hurt. "I told you things you things I only trusted you with because I felt like you wouldn't judge me!" he shook Nishinoya with his fist, causing him to grabbed onto his arms to push him off. "But you just yell and scream at me!! You push me away like we've never been anything! Why? You make it seem like you've got it together but you're making it so hard for me!" His voice quivered. Tanaka tried to pull him off, the smaller boy just escaped and ran towards the libero who was still in shock.

"Hey- guys, rack it off before Daichi comes-"

Hinata pushed Nishinoya hard with both hands, causing them both to stumble over the steps and they fell onto the grass below them with a groan. Hinata pulled Nishinoya up by his shirt, trying to throw punches but failing as the libero struggled to push him off his body. He dodged his hits.

"What the fuck, Shouyou. Get the fuck off me!" He growled and tried to force him off with his knee, wrestling the other boy. Hinata flailed, gripping onto his arms and tried to pull himself out of the restraint.

"Why can't you just be normal??? You told me everything but you're still acting like a bitch-" Hinata's eyes wavered, his stern expression turning away from Nishinoya's hard eyes.

Nishinoya let go to the orange haired boy, unable to bring himself to hurt Hinata. He just laid on the ground and sighed. His hands softened and fell to his side. He looked defeated, finally.

"I can't even deal with my own feelings, how am I supposed to deal with yours?" His voice was oddly quiet, drained of the anger that previously burned. Nishinoya turned his head away, he didn't want to see the confliction in eyes.

"I don't bloody care if you're emotionally unstable or fucking crying or I don't know! I still want to play volleyball with you, I still want to hang out with you man--" Hinata didn't really know what he was saying. His words just came out like vomit.

"Sort yourself out, because I'm still waiting for you. I hope you still haven't changed your feelings to me." Hinata climbed off his legs, letting him sit up. Nishinoya rubbed his face, turning a red from embarrassment. "They haven't." He mumbled, sheepishly confessing.

"Good! Now, come back! We need out libero back on the court!" Hinata punched Nishinoya in the shoulder causing him to wince. He was stronger than he looked.

"Wait- Shouyou-" Nishinoya reached over to grab his shoulders. He looked at him in the eyes with as much confidence he could muster. "I'm sorry for everything, yelling at you and crying—everything that's happened these last few days!" He shouted at the other boy, with a new found determination.

Hinata didn't wait for him to finish. "It's honestly okay." He smiled and stood up, watching Nishinoya who was still cross-legged on the ground. "Now, let's go and play some good volleyball." Hinata reached down with a hand, offering to help Nishinoya up. The libero took his hand tightly and stood up, he squeezed it slightly.

Tanaka just stood by the door, watching his two teammates rush back into the gymnasium. He didn't really comprehend what had just happened, but he was glad Daichi didn't come out and punish the three of them. Even though he had nothing to do with it.

Tanaka shoved his hands in his short pockets and sighed as he closed the gym door after himself.

-

"Noya?" Hinata swung his bag around his shoulder as he walked out the school grounds with Nishinoya by his side. It was cold, the late winter sun had already set causing the air to grow chilly and harsh. The two walked faster than usual, wanting to get to their war homes as soon as possible. Nishinoya had his hands in his pockets, staring at the clouds of steam he blew into the winter air. He walked along Hinata; his bike was making a rhythmic clicking sound as the pedals turned themselves.

"Yeah?" Nishinoya fiddled with his cold fingers in his pockets, rubbing them together for warmth. Hinata was looking straight ahead of the footpath in front of them.

"Can I kiss you?" Hinata said calmly like it was the most normal thing in the world. On the other hand, Nishinoya's heart stopped and he felt like he was going to pass out.

"What-"He spat out, choking on his own saliva in surprise. The older boy stumbled a little, stopping in his tracks.

"I mean, I've never kissed anyone before, and I thought you might want to as well." Hinata laughed and rubbed his head, going a little pink. He rubbed his own cheek with his free hand.

"I've never kissed anyone, Shouyou." He admitted, embarrassed.

"Really? Wow, I thought you'd get a lot of girls. You're so cool." Hinata replied, genuinely surprised.

"No, not really." Nishinoya laughed awkwardly, he adjusted his collar growing hot. "I want to kiss you though." He whispered, struggling to get the words out.

They just stood there for what seemed like eternity before Nishinoya just swallowed his nerves and leaned up to plant a tiny kiss on Hinata's pink lips. It lasted for a split second and Nishinoya hit his nose against Hinata's. He staggered back in pain as his eyes started to water. Their face hit against his new bruise and he winced in pain.

"Ouch. Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing." Nishinoya sheepishly gripped his shoulder strap tightly. Hinata just smiled at him, just gazing into his warm, chocolate eyes.

"We can try again." He suggested. Nishinoya nodded, not breaking eye contact as he leaned back in. This time, he held onto Hinata's face. It was softer than he imagined, cursing his own fingers for being cold. His face was hot. Hinata cupped Nishinoya's hands with his own gloved ones, trying to keep them warm. They leaned into each other, lips meeting in an awkward embrace. He could feel the heat of Hinata's face in the coldness of the night. This time they didn't collide noses.

Hinata pulled away to Nishinoya's disappointment. His heart jumped in his chest, bursting with euphoria. He might just pass out. Nishinoya turned a deep shade of red, wanting nothing more than to continue.

Hinata pulled Nishinoya's cold hands away from his face, still holding them as he rubbed them between his gloved hands.

Time stood still as the pair stood on the foot path by the school, the yellow streetlight shining on them and casting dark shadows of their faces. Nishinoya just looked into his eyes, lost. He didn't want it to stop. Despite not being able to see his face, he could see the warm smile on his lips. It felt right. For once.

"I need to go home, Yuu." Hinata whispered and let his fingers slide away from Nishinoya's. The dark-haired boy lingered on his warm touch, not wanting him to leave. "You can't stay for a little longer?" His voice was almost protesting with disappointment. "Can't we walk for a little longer...?" Nishinoya's lips fell into a sad frown, his eyes softened with longing. "I'm sorry if that was a bad kiss- "He rambled a little, feeling him body grow cold without the other's touch.

"No, it's late. Mum might get mad at me again..." Hinata grinned and laughed gently. "I liked it though, let's kiss again." He waved him goodbye, climbing on to his bike seat. Nishinoya shoved his hands into his warm pockets again, feeling the cold winter air cool his hot face. Hinata put his helmet on and started to peddle away. "See you later, Yuu!" He shouted out as he left Nishinoya standing on the footpath under the warm, yellow glow of the streetlight. Nishinoya blinked in awe, not believing what just happened. He took out his earphones and put them in his ears, pressing play on the playlist named: Hinata Shouyou.


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly ive just been writing and i hadn't realised ive written so much for this story lmao

Hinata laid in his bed, eyes wide open and staring at the white ceiling. He felt like he was dreaming, everything was light and hazy. Hinata had his first kiss and he still could not believe it happened.

He covered his hands with his face and felt its heat. "What the hell...What the hell..." He mumbled into his fingers as he rolled around on top of his sheets. Hinata Shouyou had lost his first kiss to another boy. It wasn't just any other boy either, the rowdy, loud and energic libero of Karasuno's volleyball team.

How did things even lead up to this? It was only hours ago he was fighting on the ground with the other male. Hinata felt like he was on a roller coaster with Nishinoya and his turbulent feelings. He knew Nishinoya was yet to accept his homosexual feelings, but he kissed him, that means something right? Would Nishinoya date him? Hinata had no idea how any of this stuff worked. His brain hurt.

Hinata sighed and crawled over to his window, pushing away the curtains. The night sky was a deep, endless dark navy. The moon hung high in the sky, a bright beacon that covered the land below in a pale glow. He pulled the window open a little, letting the cold night air fill his stuffy room. Part of him imagined Nishinoya standing outside his window, throwing rocks like a romantic love story, but no one was there except the wood of his fence and an empty backyard. A lonely potted bush stood against it.

The boy rolled onto his back and looked up out through the window, at the big full moon. It was a brilliant white ball in the sky. The sun's underrated partner. Hinata felt the same as the moon; lonely, unnoticed but still capable of glowing as strong as the sun.

"What am I doing?" He asked the moon. "Why can't you make it easier for me? Man, I just want to play volleyball, but I can't stop thinking about him..." His voice mumbled and faded away into the noisy, rustling of the leaves outside.

Hinata thought about the kiss, the feeling of the other boy's lips against his own. The warmth, the softness, the feeling of his hands on his skin. He took a finger to his lips, they were chapped from licking them anxiously, Hinata wondered his Nishinoya noticed. His mind wandered to the softness of his face, cupping his own cheeks and imagined he was in the moment. His eyes closed and he just savoured the moment.

His fingers traced his own bare arms, wondering what Nishinoya's muscles felt like under his shirt. He pictured his lean chest in his mind and hands feeling every crevice and mark, imaging the sweat and heat of holding the other boy close and intimately. Hinata shivered and opened his eyes, pulling himself away from his fantasies. His hands covered his face again and he let out a groan, feeling himself grow flustered. There was a tiny flame burning inside, the part of him that wanted to be with Nishinoya forever, to kiss and hold him and it didn't seem too unrealistic. Hinata wondered if Nishinoya was still awake.

-

Nishinoya was still awake and freaking out just as much as the other male. He rustled in his bed, practically ripping his sheets off in excitement. He couldn't catch up with his own thoughts; too excited to even consider sleeping.

The libero pulled his window open and climbed out into the cold, winter night. He fell onto the grass below his windowsill and laid onto the cold grass in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts during winter. His face was hot and flustered.

Did he really just kiss Hinata Shouyou? Who even was that? The guy who begged the red head not to leave him so soon. Nishinoya cringed at his own desperation, hoping Hinata didn't think he was that embarrassing.

Nishinoya silently screamed into his palms. He grabbed his shoes from the front step and slid them on without doing up the laces. There was only one place he would be running to when he had no idea how to deal with his emotions. The boy started sprinting down the street, feeling the energy and adrenaline pump through his veins as he tried to work off the mess of emotions. After a few minutes of pushing himself to the maximum, he slowed to a jogged and stopped to catch his breath before climbing the same hill he did every morning. This time felt different though, it was a harsh, windy night with nothing but the stars and the full moon to keep him company. Not a single person in sight, but why didn't he feel so lonely?

Nishinoya stood at the top and climbing over the fence, sitting himself on the patch of grass with the full view of the town. The same spot he ran into a certain person. He bit his lip and brushed through his hair with his fingers. The breeze cooled his hot face and the sweat that dripped from his brow. It felt refreshing. There was something about the stars that made him feel less alone. The world just felt so small from atop the hill, like everything was in control. His fingers interlocked and hung over his crossed legs. Part of him wished Hinata was there to see the stars too, almost a second nature that acted on its own.

Instinctively, he took out his phone and hovered his fingers over the keys. He paused, would Hinata even be awake at this hour?

Nishinoya hesitated. He hadn't seen Hinata for a few days, over the weekend he was busy helping his grandpa with some house renovations. At school, Hinata was busy with studying for his exams, spending most of his time being tutored by Yachi or Tsukishima. Nishinoya itched with the longing to see his familiar orange hair again, he missed the energy he radiated.

The sound of his fingers against the screen of his phone broke the silence of the night.

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): HEY ARE U AWAKE

It didn't take long for Hinata to respond, to Nishinoya's delight.

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): YEAH WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPS?? XD

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): can u meet me

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): for what?? What's up :0000??

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): i wanna see u

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): why lol

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): plss we need to talk I haven't seen u in ages

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): you live so far :< i'll wake everyone up if I try to get my bike out the shed

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): I'll come to you then

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): huh???? But u don't know where I live!! ˚▱˚

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): just tell me!1

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): ok fine, fine I'll try to be quiet. Where are you???

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): im on the hill you bike up everyday

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): what are u doing there in the middle of the night??? ˚▱˚ ˚▱˚

To SHOYO!!! ('∀'): we can talk when u get here---

From SHOYO!!! ('∀'): FINE?? （｀ー'）

-

Nishinoya slid his finger against the button on the side of his phone, switching the screen off before shoving it back in the pocket of his tracksuit pants. There he just waited.

-

Hinata screamed internally and threw his phone at his bed with a grunted. This guy! He sent Hinata on a roller coaster of emotions, but he would still go and see him. Why wouldn't he?

Hinata crept around his room, finding a hoodie to slide over his head and a new pair of socks. The time was 12:35 am and he didn't stop to think about what he was doing once. Something inside of him just wanted to see the other boy no matter what. His heart squeezed at the thought of kissing him again. This flustered him so much that he almost slipped on his Mikasa ball. Dying before he made nationals wouldn't be the greatest thing ever.

His feet pattered on the ground as gently as he could manage. The orange haired boy snuck around the house on his toes, heading towards the front of the house. Darkness swallowed the whole house and he had only the light of his phone screen and the moonlight guiding his way towards the door. Hinata used all his willpower not to knock something on the way out as he carefully unlatched the door very, very slowly. He held his breath as he pulled the door open a fraction as to not let it creak. His body relaxed with relief as he made it outside without waking up his family.

Hinata sat on the step and hurriedly slipped his sneakers on and pulled the door shut quietly. His bike wasn't chained up today, it sat besides the front gate; waiting for him, almost calling his name. A helmet wasn't an option today, he had left in back in his bedroom by accidently. He dragged his bike through the gate and sat down on the cold, faux leather seat. One foot on a pedal and the other pushed him off the ground. As he biked down the familiar streets, he peddled as fast as he could muster; he didn't want to leave his secret lover waiting.

-

"Hey, Yuu."

Nishinoya almost jumped to his feet at the familiar voice. Hinata stood behind the fence, holding his bike by his side.

"Hey, Shouyou." Nishinoya shoved his cold hands into his pockets. Hinata lifted his bike over the railing and left it lying on its side. He sat down on the flattened grass next to Nishinoya. It was cold and wet with dew, but he didn't mind. Hinata stared at his shoes, blankly. He was too anxious to meet the other's gaze.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to see you." Nishinoya laughed sheepishly and rubbed his cold forearms, he felt the hairs on his skin rise. "I couldn't sleep, and I didn't expect you to be awake or even come out to meet me."

Hinata hummed, not really knowing what to say.

"I wanted you to see the stars." Nishinoya pointed his finger towards the expansive sky full of stars.

Hinata stared up and lost himself in the tiny stars that dotted the sky. He had never seen them so closely before. He would never look up at the sky when he biked home, always towards the road in front of him. His life was always moving so quickly he never paused to admire the beauty of little things like the stars, afraid of losing the little time he had. He didn't know why though.

"Do you come up here a lot?" Hinata fiddled with his fingers, looking over at the other boy. Nishinoya nodded, his bangs curtaining his dark brown eyes. They were lost in the glow of the stars.

"I do, especially when I need to think or calm down. It's kind of embarrassing but it's my favourite spot in this town. You can't see the stars like this in the city." Nishinoya noted, smiling a little in embarrassment.

Hinata stopped to notice the quietness, the stillness and the emptiness of the night. Rather than the usual silence and loneliness, it felt peaceful. The leaves continued to sway in the gentle wind and the clouds would pass through the sky as it did every day, uncovering the bright full moon. This time without the distraction and without the noise.

There was something timeless about the night. Silence when there's supposed to be noise; stillness when everything is supposed to be moving. It felt endless, like time had just stopped for a moment.

"It's beautiful." Was all Hinata could say, and nothing else needed to be said.

Hinata felt a pair of warm hands grasp onto his bare forearms, pulling him into a tight embrace. Cold lips crashed onto his, gently moving against his own. Hinata blinked before relaxing into the other's hold. His soft lips kissed back, moving in sync with Nishinoya's. This kiss was hungrier than before, a craving for intimacy. Hinata kissed back with the same passion. Hinata pulled away to catch his breath which was already unsteady.

"You called me out here to kiss you...?" He whispered.

He looked into the libero's eyes which were full of a new fire, he gave a shy nod. Hinata felt himself grow hot, leaning into his lips once more.

-

This how it went for the next few weeks. The pair would meet up in different, hidden areas around town and school. They would make out until both had to go home, sweaty and red. Snuck kisses between trainings and classes where no wandering eyes would notice. Nishinoya would text Hinata and wait for him in the school library or behind the bike shed where they would both cling onto each other.

Hinata wondered if their relationship would be anymore than this. He was happy and enjoyed kissing Nishinoya but wished they could do other things besides locking lips. Sometimes he fantasied about going on dates or adventures with the older boy, he even brainstormed a list of places he thought Nishinoya would find fun. Like the arcade in the shopping centre or the bowling alley.

Hinata pursed his lips as pulled away from the other boy's hungry lips, leaving a cloud of hot steam. They were in the freezer room at Ukai's store. They were supposed to be stacking the boxes into the fridges.

"Yuu?" Hinata spoke up against the rumble of the freezer. He shivered a little in the cold. Nishinoya met his eyes, wiping away the moisture from his red lips.

"Yeah?" He squatted down to slide a cardboard box into the bottom shelf, there was label indicating it was filled with frozen seafood.

"We can't keep doing this..." He mumbled and placed another box on the shelf, this one was filled with frozen beans. Nishinoya froze, looking up at him from the ground.

"Doing what?"

"Hooking up in freezers and stuff..." Hinata bent over to pick up a milk crate.

"You want to hook up in...public? I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff, Shouyou." Nishinoya tilted his head, slightly oblivious.

"No, I mean...." Nishinoya got to his feet with a huff, he crossed his arms. "Are we only going to make out?" Hinata sighed.

"You want to have sex?" Nishinoya lowered a brow.

"Ah! No! I mean I do want to do that with you but not now!" Hinata stumbled on his words, stuttering, he rubbed the back of his neck gingerly.

"I mean, do you want to date me? I feel like a side piece..." Hinata looked away, turning the labels on the milk bottles to the front.

Nishinoya paused, taking a moment to respond. "I do but it's too hard, it's good how it is now...Shouyou, I don't want to distract you from volleyball. You're not a side piece, you're the only piece, man" He watched the orange haired boy stare at the glass bottles.

"What do you mean, Yuu?" Hinata rubbed his thumb against an air bubble on the sticker label, trying to flatten it out.

"I don't want to get in your way. I don't want to hurt you and lose you...is it worth the risk?" the words were easier to say in his head, Nishinoya swallowed thickly. He felt saddened that these words even left his mouth, but it was true. He also wanted more, but he didn't want to ruin what they already had.

"You don't even want to give me a chance?"


	16. Chapter sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, i've been busy and feeling burnt out..

Nishinoya clenched his jaw as he felt the hard, leathery volleyball hit his bare skin.

He thought about what Hinata had said earlier; the words echoing in his head like the noise of the volleyball hitting the ground. His skin burned with the familiar sting he was always used to. The libero started to list all the pros and cons of dating Hinata Shouyou.

One, he likes volleyball; that's a pro.

Two, he's...cu- very nice to look at...a pro.

Three, we like the same stuff...? Nishinoya lowered his eyes as he realised, they spent all their time playing volleyball and when they weren't—they were talking about it.

Four, he's strong and never gives up; just like me.

Nishinoya watched the ball fly past him, just missing the court line. "Out!"

-

It was a normal school morning after training, but Nishinioya was fidgeting in his seat; he folded his fingers together and tapped his feet on the ground. The pen in his hand twirled in his fingers. The piece of scrap paper on his desk remained blank. He wondered what he should write, he thought it would be better than trying to talk to Hinata; which we know never really worked out the way he wanted. If he wrote a note, then it would say exactly what he wanted, and he wouldn't have to lose his cool. Better to not embarrass himself even more. Nishinoya bit his lip.

Five, he never gives up—ever.

Six...six...he can jump like really high.

Seven, he ignores his disadvantages and only focuses on his strengths.

Nishinoya pursed his lips together while he tried to think of reasons why he should date Hinata. He heard a classmate pull out the chair next to his table. The libero leaned over to the side, just to make sure the other guy couldn't see what he was going to write.

Eight, he doesn't care about your flaws.

Nishinoya's cheeks reddened at the memory of Hinata cheering for him when he started to drastically improve his overhead receives. It took him so many hours and he messed up many times, but Hinata still congratulated him.

Nine, he wants to experience everything at least once...just like me.

Nishinoya recalled all the conversations he had with Hinata where the two discussed all the things they wanted to do later in life. Hinata said he never had a plan and would just go where volleyball takes him. They both wanted to see as much of the world as possible. He remembered laughing at the mental image of Hinata in a sun visor and playing beach volley when he mentioned it.

"What!! Why are you laughing, Nishiya?? I think beach volleyball would be so cool!" Hinata playfully shoved Nishinoya in the ribs. "I just think you would probably burn so fast and look like a carrot on the sand—" Hinata still had the same gleaming smile of his face that would melt anyone away. He was glowing, just like the sun.

Nishinoya smiled and thought of it.

Ten, he's a literally ball of sunshine.

"Okay, so why shouldn't I date Hinata?" He thought to himself. This part was the harder part; mostly because he couldn't think of many good cons.

One, he's...short? Wait no, he's taller than me-

Two, he gets too...excited? Shit I do too...

Nishinoya scrunched the blank paper into a ball in frustration. He couldn't think of a single reason why he shouldn't date Hinata Shouyou. He might have to succumb to defeat. Nishinoya opened out his exercise book and tore out a new sheet of paper. He held the pen, tapping it against the table.

He wrote on the paper in scratchy handwriting: "Please be my boyfriend." No, this was too desperate. He drew a strike through the sentence.

"I want to be your boyfriend."

No, that's the same. He crossed that out as well.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Nishinoya folded up the note and slipped it in his pocket, drawing his attention back to his teacher.

-

Nishinoya wondered how he could nonchalantly slip Hinata the note without looking stupid. He sat down in the courtyard on the metal bench and leaned against the side of the vending machine. He liked to feel the machine vibrate against his body. In his pocket was the note, which he took out and folded into a paper crane. It looked crooked so he unfolded it, making the note all scrunched. Nishinoya didn't know why he was so nervous; he spent all this time with Hinata but why was he riddled with anxiety? He closed his eyes and shook his head before jumping off the bench and running to the gymnasium. There he found Kageyama and Hinata passing an old volleyball to each other.

"Shouyou!" He shouted, catching the red head's attention. The first year stopped and waved, causing Kageyama to look over in confusion. He held onto the white volleyball as Hinata rushed over.

"Noya-san!" He grinned. "What's up?"

Nishinoya dug around in his pocket for the folded note, pulling it and shoving into Hinata's hands. Hinata stared at the note in his fingers. He didn't say anything as Hinata unfolded and read the note, smiling a little. Kageyama slinked over and tried to peer over his shoulder to read. Hinata just shoved him away. Hinata laughed a little, making Nishinoya slightly confused.

"What's so funny?!" Nishinoya balled his fists and narrowed his eyes, his face grew as red as a tomato. Embarrassment boiled up inside of him, maybe this was a terrible time—maybe he should have called or gone somewhere private. He blushed and started to wave his arms around like a windmill. 

"No wait, I take it back!" He tried to wrestle for the paper back but Hinata stepped backwards and held it out of his reach. "Shouyou!-" Nishinoya panicked and tried to reach for it but failed. 

"Do you have a pen?"

Nishinoya raised an eyebrow but found an old pencil in his pocket, it was almost shaved all the way down. Hinata took the pencil and started writing onto the note and Kageyama just stood there, confused. "What's going on?" He asked. Hinata held out the note back to Nishinoya and he took it, reading the new message. It only said one word.

Sure.

Nishinoya felt like he was going to pass out, he staggered back dramatically and tried to catch himself.

-

"Does your mum know?"

The pair were lying on the grass in Nishinoya's front lawn. It was rare day where the sun escaped the icy grip of the dark grey clouds that seemed to cast over the sky every day during winter. Hinata basked in the warm sunlight that shone onto his features.

"No, I can't tell her." Nishinoya rested his hands under his head, letting his flattened hair fall off his face.

"Holding the truth hurts more, doesn't it?" Hinata spoke up.

"The truth will break her heart."

"My mum loves me too much for that, I think" Hinata turned over to face Nishinoya, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. He pulled his winter coat closer.

"Maybe she loves the boy she knows now," The older boy left out a small breath, watching it fog up.

He continued, "Will she love the boy she knows or the boy you actually are?"

"Why can't we just tell them?" Hinata asked, not really expecting a good answer.

"Because we aren't like everyone else; it'll probably hurt them more than us."

"You think it'll hurt them?"

"Maybe," Nishinoya cleared his throat, turning to meet Hinata. "Not all of them, but some of them." His lips pressed together into a fine line, picking at his nails anxiously.

"Are you scared?" Hinata reached over with a free hand and pushed a stray strand of hair from his face. Nishinoya nodded, bobbing his head. This still surprised Hinata, the fact that Nishinoya ever felt vulnerable was alien to him.

"Not all the time, but sometimes."

They sat there in silence for a while; nothing needed to be said. Hinata watched as the clouds passed above them, billowing into shapes in the wind. He spotted a cloud that was shaped like a cat, he traced it's outline in the air with his index finger.

"What do you think it would like if we met in another life?" he asked.

"I think you'd be some cute high school girl and I'll be the tall, overly attractive chad."

Hinata snorted "Right, do you think we'd get married and have like ten kids or something?"

"Definitely, name them all after different American actors." Nishinoya sighed and rested his hands on his chest.

"What are you going to do after graduation?" The tangerine asked, turning to watch the other boy.

"Oh, um, I want to do all the stuff I couldn't do in high school. I guess?" He laughed, not really sure of what he wanted to do. "I want to travel and explore, maybe a hike a mountain or something."

"A mountain?? Which one??" Hinata exclaimed excitedly.

"Any! I'll take a photo right up the top and send it to you." Nishinoya jabbed Hinata in the ribs playfully causing him to let out a screech. He sounded like a dying goat.

"If you fall off the mountain, what will I do?" Hinata pouted and pulled his thighs to his chest.

"I will try not to?"

Hinata finally decided to bring up the thought that was weighing on his mind ever since the two started dating. From the day Nishinoya had gingerly handed him the note, it had been about two months. He cleared his throat.

"So, what's going to happen to us after you graduate?" His voice was low, not wanting to accept the reality that the two would walk different paths after high school.

"Relax man! I still have another year, don't think about that already. We still have a year to do everything. Then after that, we can work it out." In all honesty, Nishinoya hadn't thought about the future. He had no idea what would happen, especially with their new relationship. "If you keep thinking about that, you're only going to make yourself sad. Live in moment, okay?"

Hinata exhaled loudly. "I guess you're right, but I can't help but wonder." Nishinoya's words were encouraging but it still haunted him.

"I won't be travelling forever, Shouyou. Japan is my home and I'll always end up back here no matter what. I don't know about you but, I will still be here. Home is home."

"I don't know if I'll be in Japan forever. I want to see where volleyball takes me, and I have no idea where that could be. What if I never come back?!" Hinata sat up, feeling bittersweet. Maybe he would cry.

"Then I'll come with you, I want to see the world too." Nishinoya grinned and wrapped his arms around Hinata's waist. He rubbed his face into his side.

"Would you?" Hinata's lips curled into a soft smile.

"I'll try but you might have to hide me in your suitcase—besides, don't let me weigh you down. I don't wanna hold you back, go chase your dreams Shouyou!" He shouted, squeezing Hinata and causing him to fall back onto the grass. Hinata rubbed Nishinoya's arms that were still around him.

"I'll take you with me then. I don't know when, but I will!"

"Hell yeah, I want to go with you." Nishinoya mumbled into Hinata's shirt. The two laid there for a little while before Nishinoya broke the silence. "Alright! No more depressing talk. Let's make plans for the end of year break, yeah?" He unravelled his arms from Hinata; to his disappointed. Hinata nodded his head.

-

One year later.

The graduation happened in spring, the trees had grown their leaves back and the world looked livelier. After the harsh winter, life had been restored. Spring represents birth and a new start; a new life. This was true for the third years at Karasuno High School. They never thought their graduation would come so fast. Nishinoya sat through the graduation of the third years each year, but it felt so strange that it was his turn. It felt different from his middle school graduations, because he didn't really know what was going to happen after this. In middle school, he was just excited to move to high school. It felt bittersweet. He was going to leave everything he knew; but he was excited to finally explore the world and see where life takes him. He probably wouldn't see many of his high school friends or teammates again; not for a while at least. Nishinoya turned to his friends, Tanaka was excitedly waving around his certificate while his older sister took about 248348 photos of him posing with it. He told Hinata he wasn't leaving right away because he still had to plan his trips and such but eventually, he would be gone.

"So, what's it like being finally done with school?" Hinata's familiar voice broke his train of thought, pulling him back into reality. Nishinoya fiddled with the ribbon that wrapped his high school diploma. It was a shiny, black satin ribbon "It's weird." He didn't really know how he felt, a lot of his classmates were crying and excitedly promising to see each other everyday after graduation. Usually they didn't, many people would just lose their time and eventually most friendships faded into nothing more than a birthday text every year. Sad reality.

Nishinoya inhaled. "I'm excited but, it's kinda sad. I probably won't play volleyball after this anymore. And I don't know if I'll see anyone much after."

"I'll see you!" Hinata punched Nishinoya in the shoulder playfully. He writhed in pain, Hinata's upper body strength had increased since he first started, and his punches did too.

"I know you will but, eventually. Everyone's going to get jobs and become busy with families and work. Weird, I can't imagine myself having to go to a nine to five job or having kids. Can you imagine me wearing a suit?" Nishinoya laughed, but it was drenched with a mix of excitement, tiredness and uncertainty.

"I think you'd look hella cool in a suit! Don't look so depressed! "Hinata nodded furiously and placed his two hands on Nishinoya's shoulders, Nishinoya almost thought he'd get punched again.

"We're going to have the most epic, amazing, awesome, crazy break ever. Okay?" Hinata had a looked of pure excitement and determination in his eyes. The same that was contagious and Nishinoya couldn't help but feel the same. He clasped his certificate almost too tightly. "Yeah! Let's bring Ryuu too! We can go camping and go crawfishing! Ooh! I know a cool place we can go cliff jumping too!"

"Cliff jumping!?" Hinata eye's sparkled "Cliffs are so high!!"

Hinata's shouting caused the Tanaka siblings to join in, wondering what the ruckus was about.

"Did someone say cliff jumping?" The shaved headed guy exclaimed. "You're not going to pussy out are you, Hinataaaa?" Tanaka grinned, showing his teeth as he teased the younger guy and grabbed him into a head lock. Hinata squealed and flailed, but still laughed playfully.

"No way! I challenge you to a cliff-jumping competition!" Hinata shouted back, jumping up and down when he was realised from the older guy's grip. Tanaka just laughed at his enthusiasm.

"I'm more excited to go crawfishing." Nishinoya pointed out. His grandpa had brought him new nets the last time he came to visit. He was keen to try them out.

"Crawfishing? What are you, an old man??" Tanaka laughed like a hyena, teasing Nishinoya's weird taste in activities.

"YES! Take me with you, Noya-san!" Hinata started jumping again. "I've never been!"

"YES! SHOUYOU! I know a place where it's hidden, and all the kids haven't found yet!"

"Wahhh! Yes! Do they taste good?"

Nishinoya nodded. "Yup!"


End file.
